Whatto! Pepys...
When I was younger I suddenly burst into tears when I saw a squashed hedgehog on the road and my Pappa would tell the chauffeur to stop the car so I could get out and retrieve it for my vivisection studies. Pappa slapped me hard across the face and said "There's a well known phrase which says this: There's no use crying over spilt milk -! Do you know what this means?
"I think" I began "That it probably refers to skimmed milk in particular because skimmed milk is watery enough without you sobbing into it?"
"Very good!" said Pappa and he gave me a crisp £50 note.
That was a salatory lesson for me as a young child and put me in good stead for my life as a well balanced adult performing on the fringes of privileged Society.
The other day I was enjoying a very rare experience of riding on an omnibus when I noticed in the drivers rear view mirror that he was weeping softly into his cash tray.
I immediately remembered the lesson I had been taught by my Pappa and, as it was also my stop, I got up and went to speak to the driver. I paused as I passed him and stooped to touch the back of his hand with mine and stroke his ear gently for a moment.
Then I offered him this advice from the central part of my aeorta.
"Don't cry because it's over" I said, toying with his prominent chin and adam's apple "smile because for a few blissful miles they all actually believed you were their real bus driver."
I gave him a crisp £50 note and alighted the bus with a cheery wave.
You should have seen the smile on his face!
Make someone's day today!
Tallyho!
Best Wishes - Lord Noel
