Saturday 23 May 2009

Lord Noel Works On Improving The World Of Ladies

Whatto! Ladies.....
I've often heard it said that it's 'A Man's World'.......
.....and I would have totally agreed had I not had my attention drawn to a number of amazing new inventions which have been specifically developed to enhance the lives of Ladies everywhere..............
Things like the 'Woman's Touch' bowling alley........
...which has received a tasteful 'make over' to enhance the feminine side of bowling!

And this sturdy and indestructible invention.........
....which will silence for once and for all that constant feminine cry from ladies of the house to 'PUT THE SEAT DOWN!'........

And yet another development in retailer satisfaction.................
CARS!......
Yes men.....amazing as it may seem.......women are interested in cars too!
This development will aide all manufacturing companies struggling to stay solvent.......
From now on cars will be produced in two colours............. red and blue..........
Men can buy blue ones which means Ladies can have the red ones!.....
Now it will be easy to spot women drivers on the road.....and give them a wider birth!
You won't believe this......but many women are also using computers these days!
And not just for looking up cooking recipes.......
But certain computer support companies have been inundated with totally unnecessary calls from women who have been unable to find the right key to press when the instruction manual clearly states 'Press ANY key'................
So henceforth........all computers will be fitted with this invaluable addition!
Returning to lady drivers for a moment............ (but addressing this next question to men).....
You know how - when you are out together - ladies like to make you reverse into parking spaces?.........
Well this invention has increased the available space by over 40% ............
......and landing lights make it virtually impossible to miss........even in fog!
What a break through!
There seems to be a number of issues emanating from the area of the shared Lavatory.......
.....and yet another (male) inventor has come up with a simple but effective resolution to the constant complaint that......'You haven't changed the toilet roll!'
Once installed........this invention ensures that this particular phrase should not be heard within the hallowed confines of the privy for quite some time............
Here's a handy gadget for women who like to surf the net for shoes and clothing for a lovely night out!.........
And it also means to don't have to leave the computer to get ready!......
Great for putting on those last minute bids!!

Men love speed!......
That fact is well known and regularly documented.......
But did you know that females have virtually no concept of speed?
It's TRUE.....scientists have proved that when a woman gets behind the wheel of a car she very quickly loses all sense of reality!......
For this reason a speedometer has been developed that women will instantly understand!

Even in the DIY arena ......
......women are demanding that their needs are fully catered for........
I was delighted to see that the well known firm of 'Black & Decker' have responded to this cry with a hammer and screwdriver set specifically targeting ladies..........
(There's absolutely no excuse for not changing those blown fuses now Ladies!)
Har! Har!
Tallyho!
Best Wishes - Lord Noel & Lady Jacqueline
Dress With Finesse

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