Lord Noel's Vin de Pays

Tallyho everyone!............

...........and CHEERS!!

 

Those of you who know me ........ will know of my partiality towards a certain grapefilled liquid!

................and now that I live in the country I thought I'd like to 'get back to Nature' once again and demonstrate my mastery over nature - by concocting my own version of Country wine!

This is how my sweet nectar looked only a few months ago when I plucked the ripe fruit from the damson and cherry plum trees growing freely on our virtual estate!

With the expert precision of a man on prozac - I managed to get the bugger to ferment nicely and transform its murky liquid to a clear rose with a taste so full of fruit that it cries out 'Summertime Harvest' with every delicious mouthfull!

TWAMPING!!

Here is how the delicate process starts....................... simple enough and with primative methods ........... the succulent flavours of the juice are teased out of the burgeoning fruit in a process known as Twamping!!

This is followed - almost directly - by the next stage in the procedure.................

DWAMPING!!

This is where the damp juice is allowed to mingle freely with the foot juice to create a subtle blend of natural scents and flavours that can only be produced when man truely meets nature - IN THE RAW!!!

This process continues until the sun goes down - or we reach the next process known as:

CWAMPING!!
 

This is the involuntary muscle spasms that are produced by the cold mixture working against the excessive muscle activity!

It is a dangerous stage and is always best dealt with by having an assistant nearby to carry out preliminary First Aid techniques.......................

But failing that....... the indescribable agony that accompanies this process can be aleviated by the ample application of boiling water directly onto the affected areas..................

..............thereby rendering the muscles completely numb and lifeless!

But... ladies and gentlemen!... It is ALL in a good cause!!

The final result is the testimony of everything that Nature and man (when finely tuned together and working 'as one') can accomplish!!

...and the good news is..
... the blisters are healing up nicely!!

Tallyho everyone!!

Best wishes
Lord Noel