Lord Noel's Tell Tale Signs

What ho! Pepys...

Apparently there is a Recession taking place as I speak. It is having a huge impact on everyone including me. I have been forced to restrict myself to a mere two cases of Champagne this month!

If you believe you may have been affected by this Recession but are not sure I have identified a number of tell tale signs to look out for. Any of these indicators are a sign that the Recession is starting to bite:
You get pre-declined for a credit card in the mail.

CEO's start playing miniature golf.

Oil Companies begin laying off Politicians.

You see a Mormon with only one wife.

The bank returns your cheque marked "Insufficient Funds," so you call them and ask if they meant you or them.

McDonald's begin selling the 1/4 ouncer.

Angelina Jolie adopts a child from America.

Parents in Kensington sack two of their nannies and suddenly learn their children's names.

A truckload of Americans are caught sneaking into Mexico.

A picture is worth 200 words.

When Bill and Hillary Clinton travel together, they actually share a room.

The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is managed by Somali pirates

American Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!

Motorola and Enron merge to form a new company called Moron.

Of course the best way to make sure your life isn't affected by a Recession is to change the emphasis in your life AWAY from cash to something much more valuable instead.
Let me know how that goes Pepys! Har har!

  Tallyho!   Best Wishes - Lord Noel