Lord Noel on Learning More

What ho! Pepys..

Even whilst I'm away I continue to get enquiries from concerned members of the pubic...

"Dear Lord Noel...

I like to think of myself as a rather amusing character...

and I often get the old folks on the bus giggling...

...thanks to my massive ostrich feather.
I think it's nice to be in touch with the older generation.

But I have realised recently 

that I would to go a lot further with the old folks 
than mere tickling.
My recent Court Order prevents me following my original plan so now I am going to try Plan 'B' which is where

I would like to come across as a much more intellectual personage.
I know that you are a very clever and witty man and wondered if there is there any advice you can give me?

Years ago I used to read lots of philosophy puns...

....but then I just stopped after reaching a Plato.
Please help

Yours limply

Drew Peacock"

"Dear Drew....

You could certainly become more intellectual 
by reading more books.

But it's important not to waste your invaluable time 
reading the wrong books.
With this in mind I would suggest that you try reading

'My Life in Garbage' by Phil Theegit..

.... it's a littery masterpiece."

Tallyho!

Best Wishes - Lord Noel