Lord Noel On Yo Mama

Whatto! Pepys...

I have recently discovered an American pastime which I hope catches on here in the UK.
It basically involves cruely mocking obesely fat people in a way that preserves their anonymity by referring to them generically as 'Yo Mama'.
Whether it was started as an inducement for overweight people to lose a few pounds I'm not sure ...but judging from statistics currently available from the USA that 'strategy' is clearly not working.
Here in the UK we really love to copy the American's in so many ways and we've noticed that obesity has risen dramatically here in the last 10 years.
Maybe it's time for some enterprsing entrepreneur to make this pastime into a UK quiz show using obese contestants? It would encourage the remaining 'masses' to stay indoors watching TV, eating their chicken wings and pizzas as they munch their way to oblivion?
At least it would take everyone's minds off Fukushima?!
Here are a few of my personal favourites to get you started...

Yo mama's so fat, When she 'hauls ass' she has to make two trips.

Yo mama's so fat, When she dances she makes the band skip.
Yo mama's so fat, When she was diagnosed with the flesh eating disease the doctor gave her 13 years to live.
Yo mama's so fat, She puts mayonnaise on aspirin.
Yo mama's so fat, her ass has it's own congressman.
Yo mama's so fat, When she goes to the zoo, the elephants throw her peanuts.
Yo mama's so fat, Her high school graduation picture was an aerial photograph.
Yo mama's so fat, Her driver's license says "Picture continued on other side."
Yo mama's so fat, "Place Your Ad Here" is printed on each of her butt cheeks.
Yo mama's so fat, All the restaurants in town have signs that say: "Maximum Occupancy: 240 Patrons OR Yo Mama"
Yo mama's so fat, when she ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.
Yo mama's so fat, when she gets in an elevator, it HAS to go down.
Yo mama's so fat, she was born with a silver shovel in her mouth.
Yo mama's so fat, she's got smaller fat women orbiting around her.
Yo mama's so fat, when I yell "Kool-Aid," she comes crashing through the wall.
Yo mama's so fat, she could sell shade.
Yo mama's so fat, when she crosses the street, cars look out for her.
Yo mama's so fat, people jog around her for exercise.
Yo mama's so fat, I ran around her twice and got lost.
Yo mama's so fat, she gets runs in her jeans.
Yo mama's so fat, when she turns around, people throw her a welcome back party.
Yo mama's so fat, she can't even jump to a conclusion.
Yo mama's so fat, she went to the movies and sat next to everyone.
Yo mama's so fat, her belly button doesn't have lint, it has sweaters.
    Tallyho!   Best Wishes - Lord Noel