Lord Noel Agony Aunt

What ho! Pepys...

Every so often I have to let the contents of my heaving mailbag spill out all over my desk.
Luckily it's completely waterproof with a wipe clean surface.
I'm also lucky that people write to me from all over the world asking me for advice.
Sometimes I show the letters to my wife and we spend the evening together with glasses of wine...
...laughing ourselves silly.

I recently received this letter from a man I will call Colin - because that is his real name.
He writes "Dear Lord Noel, I was brought up by a very strict mother and father who never let me rest for a minute. Now I find I am unable to relax because whenever I sit down I hear my Father's voice inside my head saying 'Time is Money'! Can you please help me? Kind regards, Colin"

Here is my reply:
"Colon, I have read your letter with great interest and have come to the following conclusion. If your Father is someone who believes that Time is Money - he may be a confused Pink Floyd listener"

Tallyho!
Best Wishes - Lord Noel