Lord Noel's Slogans 4 U

What ho! Pepys.....

As an Internationally reknowned raconteur and wag I am often being asked for quick witted remarks which could be used in a variety of useful situations....
....usually to amuse or repel others.....
....so here are a few to be getting on with......

Driver Carries No Cash - HE'S MARRIED!

4 Out Of 3 People have Trouble With Fractions.

DRUGS LEAD NOWHERE - But it IS the Scenic Route.

IMPOTENCE - Nature's way of saying, "No hard feelings."

The proctologist called ... they found your head!
 
Save your breath ... You'll need it to blow up your date.

Tallyho!

Best Wishes - Lord Noel