Lord Noel On Kreating Kuddly Kids Korner

What ho! Pepys.....

As major patron of our local library....

....(which had become a trifle neglected).....

I was asked to attend a small function which would involve me officially opening the new Childrens book section....

....which they tell me they are going to call "Kids Korner"

I'm not really one for deliberately misspelling words....

...(in fact, wherever possible....

...I always use smellchecker)....

....especially in the childrens area.......

.....but that paled into insignificance when I browsed amongst the books on display.....

....and saw just how 'Modern' childrens books have become....

....since I was a lad.

Here are some of the books I encountered....

"You Were A Complete Accident" by Mal Ishusparent

"Strangers Have the Best Candy" by Reg Toothless

"The Little Sissy Who Snitched" by Fingers McNutter

"Some Kittens Can Fly!" by Ivor Badtrip

"How to Dress Sexy for Grownups" by Adam Naked

"Getting Even More Chocolate on Your Face" by Ima Largeboned

"Where Would You Like to Be Buried?" by Kydee Kyllaa

"Katy Was So Bad - Her Mummy Stopped Loving Her" by Euaint Nofriends

"The Attention Deficit Disorder Association's Book of Wild Animals of

North America Hey! Let's Go Ride Our Bikes!" by Blaaa Deblaadeblaaablaaweeeee

"All Dogs Go to Hell" by Moggi Strangler

"The Kids' Guide to Hitchhiking" by Lori Driver

"When Mommy and Daddy Don't Know the Answer, they Say God did it" by Aunty Christ

"Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia" by Pluto Neeum

"What Is That Dog Doing to That Other Dog?" by Woof Humperdink

"Why Can't Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet Be Friends?" by Frizzi Hairpeice

"Bi-Curious George" by Ivor Yearning

"Daddy Drinks So Much Because You Make So Much Noise" by Arfur Pintleft

"Mister Policeman Plays With His Service Revolver" by Holy Copper

Tallyho!

Best Wishes - Lord Noel