Lord Noel On Lording It

What ho! Pepys.....

Being a Lord obviously makes me a fascinating person to be with.....

....and occasionally it means that I get to hang about with other Lords.....

....some of whom, are almost equally as fascinating.

I remember a very good friend of mine, Lord Marmaduke Hussey (who used to be in charge of the Beeb)....

....who told me about a conversation he'd had with a young Lady who introduced herself to him as "a TRUE Hussey"........

...well he certainly hadn't met her before....

....and he couldn't see any obviously family resemblance....

....so he engaged in light conversation with her....

...in an effort to discover her 'roots'.....

.....and, in order to uncover her family lineage, he asked this dear Lady which men in her life she would remember most.....

She mulled over the question for a few moments then, rather surprisingly said "Yes! I've got it......there are actually seven Men who I will  remember most"....

"Pray tell - my dear!" encouraged Lord Hussey, setting out on his voyage of discovery....

..and she continued...."Well...they are....

...my Doctor, Dentist, Hairdresser, Milkman, my Interior Decorator, my Stock Broker, and my Banker!"

"What a curious list!" Lord Hussey remarked....

..."So what is it about these men that will make you remember them?" he enquired.....

"It's just because of the interesting things they have said to me" she teased....

....giggling in a very intelligent manner..

....and toying with her lovely long blonde locks in the way that they recommend at MENSA.......

"Such as?"...he persisted bravely

"Well...." she began.....

1. MY DOCTOR: because he says, "Take your clothes off."

2. MY DENTIST: because he says, "Open wide."

3. MY HAIRDRESSER: because he says, "Do you want it teased or blown?".

4. MY MILKMAN: because he says, "Do you want it in the front or the back?"

5. MY INTERIOR DECORATOR: because he says, "Once it's in, you'll love it!"

6. MY STOCK BROKER: because he says, "It will rise right up, fluctuate for a while, and then slowly  fall back again."

7. And MY BANKER: because he says, "If you take it out too soon, you'll lose interest"

And it was at this point that he could confirm that she was indeed...a true Hussey!

Tallyho!

Best Wishes - Lord Noel