Thursday, 13 May 2010

Lord Noel Is Feeling Light Headed

What ho! Pepys....


Are you someone who suffers from time to time....
....from light-headedness?
Well now you can take comfort from the fact that.... 
....there are many other people like you.....
...and they are so easy to spot!
Just look for these tell-tale signs:


A light-headed friend of mine had to go to a garage with her BMW because it wasn't running right.....
The mechanic lifted the bonnet and made a few rudimentary checks before wiping the oil orf his hands, sighing, and saying "Well...now I know what the trouble is...."
"Really?" she replied excitedly..."What?"...
"Crap in your carburetor!" he diagnosed confidently....
...to which she replied "And how often do I have to do that?"
When she got home her husband had bought her two lovely dogs for her birthday....
....(as an added security measure when he was working away from home)....
..."Ooh! How lovely!" she exclaimed as they came bounding up to her "I'll call them Timex and Rolex!"....
"Why?" her husband asked quizzically....
....she stood up proudly and explained "Because they're watch dogs!"


I was on a plane with her once...
...trying to get her involved in a quiz game idea that I'd had.....
...she was really very tired and said she would prefer to sleep but I persisted and persisted....
...and finally I got her full attention when I suggested that if I didn't know the answer to a question I would pay her £100 and if she didn't know the answer to a question she had to pay me £5!...
(So confident was I of my mental prowess!)


She reluctantly sat up and said "Okay! Me first!".....
...then launched into her first question.....
"What starts it's life going up a hill on three legs and comes down on four?"...
....then she promptly turned around and fell fast asleep!
I wasn't aware of this particular puzzle and felt a bit shocked that my vast intellect had been thrown into confusion on the very first question!
Not wishing to be beaten, I scoured the internet on my phone to try to find the answer....
....I even went orf to the cabin staff to find out if they knew!
After several hours of fruitless enquiry I had to reluctantly admit to myself that I was stumped!
....and by a bally light-headed person!
I waited until she finally woke up and rather sheepishly admitted to her "I'm sorry....but I don't know the answer to your question".....
....and I dug deep into my wallet to furnish her with the £100 I'd promised.....
...she smiled and began counting the cash in her hand...
...then, as my curiousity got the better of me, I just had to ask her "So what starts it's life going up a hill on three legs and comes down on four?"...
....and as I watched and listened attentively....
...she handed me a carefully peeled orf £5 note from the bundle I'd just given her!
Never underestimate the light headed!

Tallyho!
Best Wishes - Lord Noel

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