Lord Noel On Duck!

Whatto! Countryphiles........

One of the great things about living in the Countryside is that one gets invited along on a shoot from time to time............

The local farmers are a fine bunch of chappies........

.....but should never be underestimated..........

I was with one party which included a rather loud chap from London..........

He was also rather too full of himself and spent most of the day boasting far too loudly about his law firm......

He shot and dropped a bird but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a boundary fence.....

As this chap climbed over the fence, an elderly gentleman appeared on a tractor and called out "Hey! What are you doing?".

He responded, "I should have thought that was quite obvious! I've shot a duck and it fell in this field, so I'm going to retrieve it."

The old farmer replied. "I see........ well this is my property, and you are not coming over here!"

The indignant lawyer said, "Look old man.......I am one of the best Barristers in the U.K. and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue in court .....and take you for everything you've got!"

We were all a bit aghast at this nasty threat as usually most disagreements can usually be resolved in a much more Gentlemanly manner.......

But the old farmer just smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we do things here in Norfolk............. We settle small disagreements like this with the TK Rule."

The lawyer, suddenly curious, asked, "What is this 'TK Rule'......I've never heard of such a thing?"

The Farmer replied. "Well, TK stands for 'Three Kicks'......... so first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times, and so on, back and forth, until the weakest person gives up."

The chap quickly thought about the proposed contest and, weighing up the old farmer in front of him, decided that he could easily take on the old Farmer, so smiling, he agreed to abide by the local 'TK' custom.......

I watched as the old farmer slowly climbed down from his tractor and walked up to this city chappie........

His first kick planted the toe of his heavy work boot right into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees.......

Keerrrrunch!.....

His second kick nearly wiped the man's nose off his face!

Zaoowstttt!......

The barrister was flat on his belly when the farmer's third kick to a kidney left him in absolute agony.........

Laaapppppow!....

The lawyer then seemed to have to summon up every bit of his remaining strength to slowly struggle to his feet...........

.....then he wheezed, "Okay, you old blaggard, now it's MY turn!"

But the old Norfolk farmer just smiled and said, "Naw..... You can have the duck!"



Tallyho!

Best Wishes - Lord Noel
Dress With Finesse