Lord Noel's Newsworthy Items

Whatto! News hungry people.......

I was recently sent these excerpts from different newspaper articles which I thought I'd share with you......

Commenting on a complaint from a Mr. Arthur Purdey about a large gas bill, a spokesman for North West Gas said, "We agree it was rather high for the time of year. It's possible that Mr. Purdey has been charged for the gas used up during the explosion that destroyed his house".

(The Daily Telegraph)

Police reveal that a woman arrested in Manchester for shoplifting had a whole salami inside her underwear. When asked why, she said "It's because I'm missing my Italian boyfriend".

(The Manchester Evening News)

Irish police are being handicapped in a search for a stolen van, because they cannot issue a description. A Police spokesperson said "It's a Special Branch vehicle and we don't want the public to know what it looks like".

(The Guardian)

A young girl who was blown out to sea on a set of inflatable teeth was rescued by a man on an inflatable lobster. A coast guard spokesman commented, "I'm afraid that this sort of thing is all too common".

(The Times)

At the height of the gale, the harbourmaster radioed a coast guard and asked him to estimate the wind speed. He replied "I'm sorry, but I don't have a gauge..... However, if it's any help...... the wind has just blown my Land Rover off the cliff."

( Aberdeen Evening Express)

Mrs. Irene Graham of Thorpe Avenue , Boscombe, delighted the audience with her reminiscence of the German prisoner of war who was sent each week to do her garden. He was repatriated at the end of 1945, she recalled -"He always seemed such a nice friendly chap, but in February 1946, when the crocuses came up in the middle of our lawn they spelt out 'Heil Hitler!' ''

( Bournemouth Evening Echo)

Tallyho!

Best Wishes - Lord Noel & Lady Jacqueline

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