Lord Noel's American Police Quotes

Whatto! law enforcers.........

The following Police Comments were apparently taken from actual police car videos around the USA........



"Relax, the handcuffs are only tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you've worn them a while."

"If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."
 
"If you run, you'll only go to jail very tired."
 
"Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's thespeed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."
 
"You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I canwrite anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"

"Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"
 
"Warning! You want a warning? O. K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."
 
"Your answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not ok?..... Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

"Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you goto ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and corn dogs and step in monkey poo. "
 
"Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."
 
"In God we trust, all others we run through the computer"
 
"Just how big were those 'two beers' you say you had?"
 
"No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."
 
"I'm glad to hear that chief (of Police) Hawker is a personal friendof yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."

"Oh so you didn't think we gave pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here please."



Tallyho!
Best wishes - Lord Noel & Lady Jacqueline
Dress With Finesse