Lord Noel On Xmas Presence

Whatto! Pepys....

Remember! It's never too late to consider making that last minute request from Santa for the pressy you've always dreamed of!
Folks always love to receive that special gift that shows that it is truly a Xmas present for a loved one!
And you can always prove just how much you really love them by spending a little extra in a shop somewhere near you!
There are so many things that can be purchased!
And so little time!
If I was asked what I would like for Xmas I would have great difficulty deciding between any of these exciting Xmassy gifts...
Like these excitingly warm 'Woodland Creatures for all the family' outfits!

Or why not treat yourself to a bit of pampering with an extra-special hair do?

(Not recommended in high winds)

Or your own personal, portable, nicotine supply! 

Knitwear is always a traditional hit with everyone in the family!

Or - for the man who has everything...
Why not treat them by splashing out on a virtual protrate Explorer?

Or perhaps your loved one would prefer a fully paid-up membership to the Tory Party?

Personally I find it difficult to see how this quadricycle could be improved on as the perfect gift!

Remember "The family that pancakes together...."

How about subscriptions to a popular monthly magazine?

Or something to help make working a 140 hour week more bareable?

or a gift voucher for some splendid new tattoos?

What could say 'Happy Xmas' better than a nice festive vinyl record?

Or perhaps you would like to sponsor a local Artist to express themselves creatively in public?

Remember - a technology gift is always a great investment for the future

But plastic surgery can bring eternal happiness to anyones life!

Or you could help someone join in the Festive fun of gorging oneself silly by signing them up for Ritter's infamous "Get Plump" Course

But before we get totally carried away with the joys of Yuletide gifting it's important to remember that

THERE'S A WAR ON!

Just remember that Xmas is also a time for Terror!

So report anything suspicious that you see immediately to the Authorities!

And remember to keep paying your taxes......

Tallyho!

Best Wishes - Lord Noel