Lord Noel On Viagra

Whatto! Pepys...

As it was my Birthday, Lady Jacqueline and I decided to go for a little experimentation in the bedroom department! Once we'd been thrown out of John Lewis we went for a coffee and decided we wanted to try once more. Being a man rapidly approaching my tender years the idea of a second helping is often a brilliant idea but not quite so fruitful in a practical sense. It was then that Lady J came up with a topper scientific solution (well not so much a solution as a pill really). But my enjoyment was swiftly curtailed when, after gingerly consuming the said tablet, I experienced a sudden stiffness in the area of my neck! After a while of this stiffness showing no signs of leaving me I became increasingly dissatisfied with the product and decided to ring the Company 'Hotline' for some advice. Strangely enough there seemed to be a few other people having difficulties because I was put on 'hold'....
I was immediately disappointed to find that their choice of hold music was the ubiquitous Vivaldi's Four Season's and I began to think that there must be many other alternatives that I could suggest for much more suitable hold music....
If you are a viagra retailer struggling for innovative ideas please feel free to use any of the following in your next Advertising Campaign or Customer telephone answering service...


I am a Rock

- Paul Simon



A Hard Days Night

- The Beatles



Do That To Me One More Time

- Captain and Tenille



Everlasting Love

- The Bee Gees



Hard To Handle

- Otis Redding



No Ordinary Love

- Sade



We've Only Just Begun

- Paul Williams



Hard As A Rock

- AC/DC



Girls Just Want To Have Fun

- Cindy Lauper



When I'm 64

- The Beatles

    Hard Enough   - Brandon Flowers       I Got Erection   - Turbonegro       Harder, better, Faster, Stronger   - Daft Punk       When I finally got through it was late Autumn and everything in the wood was falling to the ground. After hearing of my affliction they told me that my neck stiffness was due to me not swallowing the viagra quickly enough! I didn't get a refund.       Tallyho!   Best Wishes - Lord Noel