Lord Noel On Being Phonically Challenged

Whatto! Pepys...

I am proud to announce that I seem to be one of the last people in our village to retain a decent remnant of the last Millenia.
It doesn't do 'Apps' or 'Emails' or 'Surfing' so to many modern users it would appear to be totally useless! Even the on-board camera is substandard!
But I love it still.... because it does what I want it to do!
Texts and phonecalls!
It also costs me about £40 a year.... (but I'm trying to cut down)
Truth be told I also love the 'flip-up top' because it allows me to believe (for a fleeting moment) that I am part of the cast of the original Star Trek TV series - asking the Bridge to 'beam me up!'.
I've noticed that these days some people text me "plz" because it's shorter than "please".
So I text back "no" because it's shorter than "yes".
Oh, and by the way, if someone has the audacity to send you a text saying 'Soz' they aren't really sorry.
I have to admit that technology IS wonderful! We've come such a long long way from having to find an empty (and working!) phonebox on a street corner and also have a pocket full of 2 pence pieces. It came home to me recently when I heard a man saying "Hold that pose. My camera is ringing!"

But it can also be a complete menace....
Socialising with friends has been badly affected.
How often these days does an offer of a tasty meal at someone's home deteriorate into a bunch of friends coming over just to play on their phones?
And why is that you can take the time to travels miles to actually BE with a friend or companion, in person, so you can have a nice old primitive 'chat' but as soon as someone rings them on their precious mobile they simply MUST be answered! or WORSE STILL a Facebook status 'updated'? I don't blame the person making the call... how could they know?
But it's tantamount to allowing someone to come over and interupt you mid-sentence without even the merest hint of an apology.
Maybe that is why I have absolutely no human friends?
Luckily, being close to the glutus maximus of nowhere, our wireless coverage is absolutely appalling so in no time at all our guests realise (sometimes in complete horror!) that they will have to spend the rest of the evening 'interacting' face to face with us humans!

It's a positive spin on a situation which really shouldn't exist these days... but I'm glad it does!
After all, I've seen the photos from Mars and I'm still amazed that 'Curiosity' ever managed to find wireless coverage when I can't even send a text from my kitchen!
One day I will no doubt be tempted to upgrade to something which will thenceforth become my eternal companion and I will end up spending many hours each day stroking it with compulsive lovingness.... but in the meantime I am in the proud position of being someone...
... who still knows more than their phone.

If you own a mobile phone or use wi-fi - check this out:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ld8pCSjNcA&feature=youtu.be&a

Tallyho!

Best Wishes - Lord Noel