Lord Noel Gives Further FREE Advice

Whatto! Pepys...

Further FREE ADVICE from your wonderful benefactor!

"Dear Lord Jesus  Noel
I'm reely angree! This guy just yelled at me for texting and driving! I shouted back at him to get off my bonnet and mind his own freekin business!
I'm sooooooooooo upset!
The whole thing made me drop my cheezburger!
Yurz
Isabelle Tinkley"


"Dearest Isabelle
Thank you for contacting me about your latest automobile debacle.
This is a prime example of why in-car hygiene is so important!
Imagine how distasteful it could have been had your cheezburger been covered in dust, grit and potentially - lower body hairs? Judging by the photograph you have enclosed I shudder to think how it might have affected you to have to forego your tasty morsel!

It's at times like this that I take great comfort from how much I've learnt a lot from the Mayans....
Like - "if you don't finish something, it's not the end of the world!"
And remember that texting can be particulary hazardous whilst driving - so my sincerest advice to you is to switch off your autocorrect! 
Sometimes it can be your worst enema.

Tallyho!
Best Wishes - Lord Noel"