Lord Noel On Cosmetic Surgery

Whatto! Pepys....

Isn't Science wonderful?
These days we have the technology to reverse the superficial signs of ageing.
A very attractive female friend of mine decided to have a face-lift for her birthday.

She is someone to whom scarcity of money is not a problem so she spent £5,000 and after the initial recovery period felt really great about the final result.
One day she went into a beautiful restaurant for lunch, and at the end of the meal, said to the waitress

"I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?" to which the waitress repled, "Oh you look about 29".
She was understandably thrilled to hear this response.

"I'm actually 47," she said, feeling really happy with herself.
On her way home she stopped at a newsagents to buy this months copy of Vogue but before leaving she decided to ask the sales assistant the same question, "About 32," was the reply.

"I am actually 47!" she replies with a broadening smile. This made her feel really good.
While standing waiting for a bus she asked an old man the same question.
He replied, "I am 85 years old and my eyesight is going. But when I was young there was a sure way of telling a womans age. If I put my hand down your pants for two minutes I will be able to tell your exact age."
Maybe vanity had overcome her sensibilities at this stage but as there was no one around, the woman thought 'what the hell?' and let him slip his hand down her pants.
Two minutes later the old man says, "OK, it's done. You are 47."
Stunned with incredulity and a little unhappy the woman said, "You're absolutley correct! That was amazing! How did you do that?"
The old man replied, "I was standing behind you at the newsagents."

Tallyho!
Best Wishes - Lord Noel