Lord Noel on Why Antique's Roadshow Should Be Immediately Banned NOW!

What ho! Pepys...

"Dear Lord Noel...

I wonder if you can help?

I recently appeared on the Antiques Roadshow 

and the expert told me "It's totally worthless" 

but then he went on to explain 

that he didn't mean my antique...

...he meant my entire existence.

Yours longingly

Clint Torus"

"Dear Clint...

You raise an interesting point...

...which I will address indirectly... 

by asking you this question...

Why hasn't anyone dug right down to the Earth's core? 

Maybe it's full of pips which can be planted 

to grow new planets?"

Tallyho!

Best Wishes - Lord Noel