Lord Noel On Pollution

What ho! Pepys...

There's an awful lot of garbage spoken about pollution - despite it often being extremely pleasant to look at! Just look at all the pretty colours from this lorry spill for proof.
Landfill is a tried and tested system which has been specifically designed to take care of all the rubbish you want to throw away perfectly okay. After all - all the stuff we chuck originally came from the Earth anyway - so we're really just returning it to her - for her to do her magic stuff on it. We can even chuck it all into the sea and create huge new continents formed completely from discarded rubbish! Aren't we clever?
And don't forget - with currently technology we can ALWAYS improve on nature!
Rainwater was normally very pure until we started producing chemtrails in the skies so now it contains some very interesting toxin poisons that can harm you and get into your food. But don't worry about that! This is precisely why we invented GM crops! They can survive no end of poisonous sprays and chemicals being dumped on them through fertilisers and insecticides.
This is exactly where we are able to show IMPROVEMENTS on Nature and merge genetic material from another species with another - enabling us to cross a cat with a tomato for example, to get a tomato that can lick itself clean!
The fact that eating this particular tomato may cause stomach cancer in humans is just something we are currenlty working on to improve still further the MEDICINE you can take to counteract the effects of the vegetables we are creating. See?! It all works out fine in the end!
Some people are beginning to say things like "We shouldn't be eating processed food because it contains GM products which are harmful to us and also cross contaminate normal crops in Nature by fertilising them so GM crops will be undetectable in the food chain and will have changed our environment forever!"
To those people I simply say.....
"You know too much."

Tallyho!
Best Wishes - Lord Noel