Lord Noel on Homeland Security

What ho! Pepys...

Even this Pilot (on the right) who is prepared to provide his own uniform - has had to join the long term unemployed

As the Unemployment levels increase 

and people begin to find they are no longer able to afford decent caviar

we are ALL at risk from attack from anyone who has less than us!
Especially those who are already in the Street - Performing!

The inexorable 'Rise of the Needy' as I like to call it...
...expressing themselves with overt physical manifestations in popular public areas.
I've seen increasing numbers of individuals who appear to be out of control and gesticulating wildly.

For this reason I've taken the decision to install 

some silent but deadly protection around my house

No - not a methane machine but a mimefield!

Let's see them get through that invisible wall now.

Tallyho!

Best Wishes - Lord Noel

Lord Noel On World Peace

What ho! Pepys...

War is over - if you want it.




Tallyho!
Best Wishes - Lord Noel

Lord Noel's Part 1 Of What We Did Before We Had Telly

What ho! Pepys...

Imagine for a moment a time before the advent of Television!... when we had to actually get up and leave the house in order to see a celebrity or find something extraordinary to do. 
Thanks to advances in science and the relaxing of church and government laws, the dissection of human corpses came back into vogue in the 1300s. At first these dissections were performed in small rooms or houses for the benefit of a handful for medical students. Then, almost overnight, a bored and apparently pretty morbid public started clamouring to attend them as well.
Specially designed “anatomy theatres” were purpose-built in many of the major European cities; most could seat well over 1,000 people. Tickets were sold to the public and the prices often varied based on how “interesting” that particular corpse was. The most expensive tickets sold in Hanover were 24 Groschen to see a woman who died while pregnant. The audiences were so excited about what they were watching that as early as 1502 a surgeon recommended having guards present at each dissection to “restrain the public as it enters.”
While most etchings from the period show only men at the viewings, women attended as well. In 1748, the crowds to see cadavers dissected at the theatre in Dresden, Germany were so large that they started having “ladies only” viewings, during which the women were invited to touch the corpses.
In many countries, these viewings only happened three or four times a year due to a lack of available bodies. In Bologna, Italy, dissections became fancy events, with women wearing their best clothes to the viewing, and balls or festivals followed in the evening.
Then in England in 1751, Parliament passed the Murder Act, allowing for all executed criminals to be publicly dissected. The increase in the number of public dissections did not diminish their popularity, and thousands of people continued to attend them each year until they were finally outlawed in the 1800s.

Tallyho!

Best Wishes - Lord Noel

Lord Noel's Business Explanations

What ho! Pepys...

I'm often asked if I can explain many of the numerous Business terms that are used by high flying executives at meetings, so I have assembled some of the more common terms together with suitable explanations here:

You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and say, "I am very rich. Marry me!"

That's Direct Marketing.


You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl.
One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you and says,
"He's very rich. Marry him."

That's Advertising.


You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and get her telephone number.
The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm very rich. Marry me."

That's Telemarketing.


You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl.
You get up and straighten your tie; you walk up to her and pour her a
drink.
You open the door for her; pick up her bag after she drops it, offer
her a ride, and then say,
"By the way, I'm very rich. Will you marry me?"

That's Public Relations.


You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl.
She walks up to you and says, "You are very rich."

That's Brand Recognition.


You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and say, "I'm rich. Marry me"
She gives you a nice hard slap on your face.

That's Customer Feedback!

Tallyho!

Best Wishes - Lord Noel

Lord Noel on Health in a Manly Way

Whatto! Peeps...

Look at my massive Gift Subscription - you want it don't you?

 I often scour the shelves in our local supermarket

(don't worry I bring my very own scourer)

in a futile effort to find a suitable Magazine for a man of my bearing and stature.

I have grown a little weary of 'Shooting' and 'Hare and Hound'

and 'Shooting Hare's and Hounds'
and 'Country Manor' holds no real lure for me nowadays 

so I felt quite fortunate when I stumbled across a 'Men's Health' Magazine 

which I perused gingerly in my Lordly way

but I hadn't leafed through much of it's delicate pagery

when I came to the conclusion that it should be renamed 

"Get amazing abs! Have amazing Sex! 

Oh and by the way - you know you're gay?"

(I bought a copy for Lord Fontleroy)

Tallyho!

Best Wishes - Lord Noel

Lord Noel On American Flag Waving

What ho! Pepys...

I have been reading a little about the American flag and I have found out that the 'Pledge of Allegiance' was written by one Francis Julius Bellamy (May 18, 1855 – August 28, 1931), a Baptist minister from New York, who had some interesting political ideas — he was a Christian Socialist who believed in the equal distribution of economic resources in accordance with the teachings of Jesus...
...but not the distribution of voting rights to women or immigrants.

By 1891, Bellamy was tired of his ministry and accepted a job from one of his congregants, Daniel S. Ford, owner and editor of Youth’s Companion, a nationally circulated magazine for adolescents. Bellamy was hired to help out the magazine’s premium department, where he worked on a campaign to sell American flags to public schools as a way to solicit subscriptions. By the end of the year, the magazine had sold flags to some 26,000 schools. But there were still more than a few holdouts.
They gave the campaign a shot in the arm by arranging a patriotic program for schools to coincide with the opening of the 1892 Columbian Exposition in October, the 400th anniversary of Christopher Columbus’ arrival in the New World. Part of the program would be a new salute to the flag that schoolchildren would recite in unison. That August, just a few weeks before the exposition and mere days from his deadline, Bellamy sat down and composed the pledge. He approached it in part as a response to the Civil War, which was still fresh in the national memory, and decided to focus on the ideas of allegiance and loyalty.

Bellmay’s pledge was published in the September 8, 1892, issue of Youth’s Companion - and has been tampered with by various people ever since.

Surprisingly late in American history, on Flag Day in 1923, a group of organizations headed by the American Legion outlined the 'National Flag Code' as a set of advisory rules for displaying the flag. These rules became law during World War II and form the bulk of what’s now the United States Flag Code.
These rules cover all manner of extremely specific situations, but they’re all governed by the same basic principle: the flag is one of the most visible and important symbols of our country, so we should treat it with respect.

One of the rules covers the question 'Is it acceptable to fly the flag upside down?'

The flag code DOES allow for flying the flag with the union (the blue field of stars) down but only

“as a signal of dire distress in instances of extreme danger to life or property.” 

America - Maybe that time is NOW?

Tallyho!
Best Wishes - Lord Noel

Lord Noel's Tonic Page

What ho! Pepys...

There are times, with everything that's going on in the World, when I can feel overwhelmed.

Those are the times I need to draw strength from the deep reserves within me to recharge myself.

This can be done in a number of ways: holidays, days out, booze, drugs, exercise, sex, meditation etc. - not all of them giving the most positive outcome if used as a long term remedy.

Sometimes it's hard to find the necessary reserves. 

Sometimes it feels like they're all used up.

That's when I need to take myself back to the core.

I focus on what is keeping me alive each moment of every day.

My breath.

I find somewhere I can settle myself into a comfortable position.

Then focus my entire concentration on my breath.

If I find my mind wandering, I try to occupy the right hand side of my brain by imagining the word 'BREATH' being spelt out in front of me in a relaxing way, or I softly say the word 'Breath' every so often.
Chanting has the same effect.
I can also use any one of a number of positive affirmations which also help:

I am Letting-go.
I am Accepting.
I am Appreciating.
I am Grateful.
I am Joyful.
I am Peacful.
I am Free.
I am Loving.

My heart will slow to a relaxed rhythm and it will take my breath with it.

I can reach very profound states of relaxation virtually anywhere using this method.

In the next stage I imagine my heart radiating pure Love out from it's centre, out into the World for anything and everything to enjoy and absorb.

I'm sure this type of energy can only benefit the Earth and everything on it.

I then imagine energy coming up from the Earth into me and radiating out from my heart.

The Earth has endless amounts of positive energy to give and she gives it willingly.

We only have to ask for it.

Sometimes the energy levels at my heart become so powerful that they overflow up my spine and start to fill up my brain with a glowing warm light that spills out of the top of my head like a warm shower.

And while I'm doing this I find myself doing something quite remarkable...

...I smile...

...and that smile fills my entire body.
...and I have quite a big body!

It's truly amazing.

Try it and see if it works for you.

Tallyho!

Best Wishes - Lord Noel

xxx

Lord Noel's Lesson On Financial Freedom

What ho! Pepys...

Did you know that 100,000 Iraqi civilians have so far been killed by the U.S. led military invasion of their country?

This military invasion was started to find the infamous but non-existent 'Weapons of Mass Destruction'.

100,000 civilians needlessly murdered because of a deliberate lie.

We all knew that WMD's didn't exist and many people marched in public to protest against the idea of a false war with Iraq.

But with all the haste of a worried Government who could see public opinion turning against them, the war effort was pushed into gear and then it was too late to stop the race into oblivion.

We were told to 'get behind the troups who were putting their lives on the line' and stop complaining and start being 'Patriotic' (whatever that means).... whilst innocent civilians are murdered.

It's virtually impossible to stop the war machine once it's been turned on.

War is an effective tool for political and social control over a large population. It can also be used to keep people divided, and if people are divided they are less likely to realize the truth of what is really going on. 

We are told to be scared of 'Terrorists' and foreigners and whilst we allow this fear and hatred to control us - we too are being controlled.

The media (owned by the rich) will pump out carefully selected 'information' and 'facts' to support their plan and conveniently ignore or surpress any evidence that may appear that goes against their plans.

And we will feel reassured by this and happily go back to watching X Factor and Soaps.

This is how we learn to feel good about hating people in a far away land who we have never even met.

This is not new. Conflicts and turmoil cover earth’s history like a rash and will continue to do so whilst there is profit to be made from it. 

A few people who suddenly realize, may find themselves asking "Who started all these wars and for what purpose?" and the reason we are given is simply "For Freedom!" 

They take of 'Liberating' the oppressed people by invading their country so to understand their concept of 'Freedom' one must look at the world from the proper perspective.

Their Perspective.

Did those 100,000 Iraqi civilians get their 'Freedom'? 

Does it seem like you have been given your Freedom?

We are dependant on 'the system' for all our basic needs. Everything is already prepare for us. 
Your clothes come from big boxes with reliable names on them, your food comes from supermarkets, and your home was most likely not designed or built by you either. 

So....Does it seem like you have been set Free? 

We all work within a 'System'
'The system' is built on money. 

Money is worthless paper and worthless metal.
So where does that leave you?

Extremely rich and powerful private individuals create worthless paper and metal and lend it the Governments of every country.

Governments use the money to pay for things like wars and we (the people) pay back the interest on these loans for the Government through our taxation.

You have no option where your money goes. Your Government decides for you because you elected them.

When the Government borrows too much money - the loan can never ever be repaid.

This gives the bank who printed all the money the power to demand control of assets held by the Government such as Gold and silver reserves, and any state owned land and businesses.
Kerching!

It can also give large companies the power to drive through legislation which will benefit them, with the support of Politicians who are now powerless to protest because they are owned by the Banks.

Without the support of the Banks, Politicians are powerless.

Recessions are a wonderful way for Banks to call-in all the outstanding loans and also for a large amount of valuable 'assets' to slide gracefully into the hands of an elite and increasingly rich few.

Just think of all the homes that have been repossesed already and now belong to the bank, and how many more they will have when the recession cuts deeper.
But don't worry - I'm sure they'll let you rent back your house or farm from them - if you have the money. 

Wars are very lucrative for banks too because Governments need to borrow massive amounts of money to win a war. 

So in order to keep a war going, banks will also lend money to the Governments of the opposing side who will obviously need even more weapons to ensure a victory against their attackers.

Weapons companies like those owned by Carlyle stand to make huge profits from any wars - so you can see why it's such a popular move especially in times of recession when ordinary businesses are struggling.

JP Morgan was one of the major banks to finance both the Nazi Party AND Winston Churchill during World War 2, continuing to trade sucessfully today. During the Holocaust, the well known Pharmaceutical company Bayer, manufactured the Zyklon B gas used in the Nazi gas chambers.

The same moneymaking businesses are still going on today.

Politicians who authorise massive Governement expenditure in the first place get top jobs with banks and other lucrative companies as a 'thank you' for all the extra money they've sent their way.  This is known as the 'revolving door' principle and is openly accepted as the way of doing things in Government.

Tony Blair, for example got a very highly paid job with the bankers Goldman Sachs as a reward for his actions in Government - particularly the massive loans taken out to finance the war in Iraq which have yet to be repaid by the British public. 

Perhaps that's what Tony thought 100,000 Iraqi civilian lives were worth?

George Bush started a war which cost the American people $3 trillion. He bailed out banks with another $3 trillion and then raised the debt ceiling for all Americans to repay 8 times while he was in office.

The money was never really his...

...or the American public's...

...it always belonged to the Bankers.

And when the time comes, the Bankers will take their ball back...

...and this financial game will suddenly come to a halt.

Only 4 Countries in the World were NOT part of the Rothschild banking system: North Korea, Cuba, Iran and Libya. 

Now there are only 3.

Finance is a funny old game isn't it?

The biggest risk to your personal safety is not some faceless Terrorist but your own corrupt Government.

So......Does it still feel like you are free?

Tallyho!

Best Wishes - Lord Noel

Lord Noel On Aspartame

What ho! Pepys...

"At every point in the fertility process aspartame destroys! It ruins female sexual response and induces male sexual dysfunction," wrote Dr. James Bowen, a neurologist and chemist. "Beyond this, aspartame disrupts fetal development by aborting it or inducing defects. And if a live child is born aspartame may have heinously damaged the DNA of the baby, cursing future generations."

This is just one of the many side effects of consuming aspartame, of course, but it is one of the most serious. Millions of people think that using aspartame instead of sugar will help them safely lose weight, when in fact aspartame is far more harmful than even processed sugars like high-fructose corn syrup (HFCS).

"Both amino acids in aspartame freely enter the arcuate nucleus (at low dose), cause inappropriate release of hormones, and at high dose actually destroy these regulatory neurons," says Dr. Madelon Price, another aspartame expert. "This is why sexual dysfunction is associated with aspartame."

Contrary to the claims made by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) and others that aspartame is safe, a wealth of independent research has verified that aspartame is linked to causing autism spectrum disorders, neurological problems, birth defects, and gastrointestinal problems, among other things (http://www.dorway.com/doctors.html).

You can learn more about the dangers of aspartame by visiting:
http://www.naturalnews.com/aspartame.html

Learn more: http://www.naturalnews.com/035322_aspartame_sources_infographic.html#ixzz1pv6OmAZV

Tallyho!

Best Wishes - Lord Noel

Lord Noel Knows Sometimes Life's A Beach

What ho! Pepys...

This is a story about three Canadian chaps who walk into a girlie bar in Koh Samui...

...and start chatting and drinking with us...

...and one thing led to another...

...and we ended up going back to their place for some late night guitar playing and singing 

and smoking herbal cigarettes around the old beach campfire.

A jolly good night out by anyone's standards.

Here are Los Amigo's getting settled just before the sun goes down.

Well, when they left the Island they kindly let us know....

...so we could go and move ourselves into these same fabulous bamboo beach huts...

...for a bit of beach front living!

...and that's where we've been chilling out for the past few days...

...Bliss!

The view from our bamboo balcony....

which just happens to have a hammock with my name on it...

 And this is a view of the front garden

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh.........

Oh yes...did Imention the Massage nextdoor?

The warm breeze moves gently through the hut - keeping it freshly aired.

and yes...the walls are see through.

and if we fancy a coconut - there's plenty nearby

Me thinks we won't be rushing back to the UK just yet......

Night Night!

xxx

Tallyho!

Best Wishes - Lord Noel

Lord Noel On Technology

Whatto! Peeps...

Through the wonders of modern technology 

I have spoken online to a very pleasant chap from Greater Manchester.

From what he told me I understand that he may be a transvestite. 

He said he had a Wigan address.

Tallyho!

Best Wishes - Lord Noel

Lord Noel's War On Drugs

Whatto! Peeps...

Clive sadly became addicted to sniffing his own armpit

Today I'd like to ask you all something very important.

Are you a Drug addict?
Put your hand down if your just addicted to normal Pharmeceutical products that your Doctor has told you are 'good for you' (hey good luck with that!).
No - I'm talking about the Drug addict we are all supposed to imagine when the Government uses phrases like 'War On Drugs' (whatever that means) - the 'hardened user'!

If you are a 'hardened user' - this Summer why not enjoy one of our rare sunny days 

with some Pimms and needles?

Tallyho!

Best Wishes - Lord Noel

Lord Noel On Much Ado About Nothing

What ho! Philosophers...

"Thirty spokes are put together to make a wheel; 

but it is on the space where there is nothing that the usefulness of the wheel depends.

We turn clay to make a vessel;
but it is on the space where there is nothing that the usefulness of the vessel depends.

We pierce and cut out doors and windows to make a house;

And it is on these spaces where there is nothing that the usefulness of the house depends."
So that's why I love ring doughnuts!

Tallyho!

Best Wishes - Lord Noelo

Lord Noel On The Land Of The Free

What ho! Pepys...

Today I have a shocking tale to tell.
It's about a 65 year old American man named James Stewert who has never been arrested or been in trouble with the law before.
There's a link below in which you can hear:

• How James was subjected to severe food deprivation.

• How he was interrogated by deputies and accused of being a "sovereign," then branded with a red arm band (Nazi-style) to falsely indicate that he was a danger to the general population.

• How James was shackled in long chains wrapped around his waist multiple times, then had his hands cuffed behind his back which was bound to the heavy waist chain to restrict his movement. His handcuffs were so tight he thought his wrists would break.

• James was then handcuffed to a cold bench, restricting his movement to just six inches, then left on the bench for 4-5 hours.

• James was then forcibly subjected to various medical tests, including forced chest X-rays even while he was handcuffed.

• He was placed in a cold cell wearing only a T-shirt and pants, where he soon began to suffer from hypothermia and found himself violently shivering just to stay alive.

• How he was made to suffer through total sleep deprivation all night long as other prisoners were screaming and banging on the walls.

• His cell was then flooded with raw human sewage, which flowed into his jail cell 2-3 inches deep, covering his shoes and shirt. LA County jail guards then ordered James to clean up all the raw sewage in his cell by handing him a small hand-held squeegee and demanding that he squeegee out all the raw sewage himself (which he reluctantly did).

• He was then forced to stay in the putrid raw sewage cell for over 30 hours, fighting off nausea and living in bacteriological filth that threatened his health.

• All along, the LA County prison guards gloated over their treatment of prisoners while laughing and joking about their power to subject prisoners to such abuse. This behavior openly mimics that of Gitmo guards who took pictures gloating over their torture and murder of prisoners of war.

• During this entire process, James was not allowed a single phone call nor any visit from an attorney. His right to speak to an attorney was repeatedly denied.

• At no point was James notified of what he was being charged with. He was never presented with an arrest warrant nor were any charges explained to him.

• James was mysteriously "lost" in the system and LA County officials claimed they did not know where he was. This was apparently a deliberate attempt to subject an individual to drawn-out torture without legal representation and make sure no one could locate them to check on their health or arrest status.

"Worse than torture... They're actually torturing you mentally and physically to break you down..."

These are the actual words of James Stewart that you will hear in this interview:

• "I thought I was gonna die in there."

• "It was worse than torture. They're actually torturing you mentally and physically to break you down."

• "I wrote the 'torture' on a piece of toilet paper to try to tell everybody what I had gone through, because I was worried they were going to mentally break me and put me in a psych ward."

• "What I experienced in downtown LA was brutality."

• "It's trauma. And they create this thing where you're not even sure what's coming next. What has this country come to? I don't sleep well at night right now, and I don't think anyone would if they had been what I've been through."

• "I'm shocked that this is America. Because it seems like you're in some third world country, in a gulag, like in the movie Midnight Express, where you're absolutely just tortured. That was the experience I had. Your mind goes, how can this be? This is America?"

James has never been arrested before or charged with any offences.
He has been a model citizen for his whole life.
And his CRIME?

...selling a healthier version of Pasteurised milk! 

Learn more: http://www.naturalnews.com/035208_James_Stewart_torture_county_jail.html#ixzz1omyuWsHr

Tallyho!

Best Wishes - Lord Noel

Lord Noel On Being Careful What You Wish For

What ho! Pepys...

How many of you lovely ladies have dreamt of one day finding a handsome Prince just by kissing a frog? 

Well let me tell you - it works exactly the other way round too!

Ferdinand the frog often dreamt of being kissed by a beautiful maiden who would instantly fall in love with him and cherish him for life. So one day he decided to visit a frog psychic. 

The psychic tells him to sit down while she examined one globule of spawn for images of the future and as the mists within it began to clear, she began to tell Ferdinand of his future fate.

"You are going to meet a beautiful young girl - who will want to know everything about you." she said.
Obviously this was great news for Ferdinand and he edged forward on his lily pad, becoming more excited, "This is great! Will I meet her at a party?" he ventured.
"No," says the psychic, "...in her biology class."

Tallyho!

Best Wishes - Lord Noel

 

Lord Noel on Ye Olde Crop Cyrcels

Whatto! Peeps...

Here is a lively front page from a 17th Century Newsletter...

...proving (to me at least) that Crop Circles are nothing new...

...only then it was caused by 'The Devil'!

Tallyho!

Best Wishes - Lord Noel

Lord Noel's Returns On Investment

What ho! Pepys...

I am so glad that I was closely involved with American Financial Institutions, even though between 1998 and 2010 Finance companies spent $4.2 billion lobbying government.
At the time I was very concerned with this amount of obvious expenditure but I should have trusted them because they in turn, have since been given a $1200 billion bailout.
All paid for by the taxpayer!
Keep up the good work chaps!

Tallyho!
Best Wishes - Lord Noel

Lord Noel On Planning Ahead

What ho! Pepys...

I hope you all enjoyed this years Valentine's Day as much as we did!
Next year's may well be worth celebrating!
Because on February 15, 2013, an asteroid named 2012 DA14 will head towards earth and reach a distance of under 27,000 km (16,700 miles). This is lower than the geosynchronous orbit kept by the Google Maps satellite.
NASA confirms the 60-meter (197-feet) asteroid has a good chance of colliding with Earth in eleven months time. To avert a new apocalypse scientists suggest confronting asteroid DA14 with either paint, or big guns. The tough part of either scheme is that time has long run out to build a spaceship for any operation.

­
Fireworks and watercolors
With the asteroid zooming that low, it will be too late to do anything with it besides trying to predict its final destination and the consequences of impact.
A spaceship is needed, experts agree. It could shoot the rock down or just crash into it, either breaking the asteroid into debris or throwing it off course.
“We could paint it,” says NASA expert David Dunham.
Paint would affect the asteroid’s ability to reflect sunlight, changing its temperature and altering its spin. The asteroid would stalk off its current course, but this could also make the boulder even more dangerous when it comes back in 2056, Aleksandr Devaytkin, the head of the observatory in Russia’s Pulkovo, told Izvestia.

­

­Spaceship mission impossible?

Whatever the mission, building a spaceship to deal with 2012 DA14 will take two years – at least.
The asteroid has proven a bitter discovery. It has been circling in orbit for three years already, crossing Earth’s path several times, says space analyst Sergey Naroenov from the Russian Academy of Sciences. It seems that spotting danger from outer space is still the area where mere chance reigns, while asteroid defense systems exist only in drafts.
Still, prospects of meeting 2012 DA14 are not all doom and gloom.
“The asteroid may split into pieces entering the atmosphere. In this case, most part of it will never reach the planet’s surface,” remarks Dunham.
Yeah right.
But if the entire asteroid is to crash into the planet, the impact will be as hard as in the Tunguska blast, which in 1908 knocked down trees over a total area of 2,150 sq km (830 sq miles) in Siberia. This is almost the size of Luxembourg. In today’s case, the destination of the asteroid is yet to be determined.
And who do we have to thank for this amazing discovery? NASA? No....
...a group of Spanish stargazers who noticed it in February 2012! So much for keeping the public in the dark. NASA must be gutted...now they have to pretend to DO something about it!
Watch the space!


Tallyho!

Best Wishes - Lord Noel

Lord Noel's New Potatoes

What ho! Pepys..

I was talking to my new 'Zen gardener' yesterday and he told me this:

Lord Noel, Just like people there are many different varieties of 'Tators'.
Some potatoes never seem motivated to participate actively but are just content to watch from the sidelines with their potato eyes, whilst others do all the work. These are the..."Speck Tators."
Some potatoes are always trying to change things. They are never happy to leave things be, even if things are working fine - these are the "Ro Tators"
Some never do anything to help, but are gifted at finding fault with the way others work. They are called ..."Common Tators."
Some are always looking to cause problems by getting others to agree with them and side with their view on things. They are never satisfied and it is always too hot or too cold, too sour or too sweet for them. They are called the..."Agie Tators", "Irri Tators," and worst of all - the "Devis Tators."
There are those who often offer to help, but somehow never get around to actually doing anything. They are called ... "Hezzi Tators" or "Vege Tators."
Some can easily put up a front to please others and pretend to be something they are not. They are called ..."Imma Tators."
Then there are those who love freely and do what they say they will. They are always prepared to stop whatever they are doing and lend a helping hand. They bring real sunshine into the lives of other potatoes. They are called ..."Sweet Tators."
Some potatoes are very bossy and like telling others what to do. They don't want to soil their own hands but they always want to be the big shots. These are known as ..."Dick Tators" and "Poten Tators"
But it's "Facili Tators", "Cogi Tators" and "Medi Tators" who always save the day and get everyone pulling together.

I told him to get on with his work.


Tallyho!

Best Wishes - Lord Noel

Lord Noel Examines Discretion V Duty

Whatto! Pepys...

I had just hired a new Mercedes and was out on the motorway for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of my hair and I decided to open her up. As the needle jumped up to 80 mph, I suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind me. "There's no way they can catch a Mercedes," I thought to myself and opened her up further. The needle hit 90, 100.... Then the reality of the situation hit me. "What am I doing?" I thought and pulled over. The Police Officer came up to me, took my license without a word and examined it and the car. "It's been a long day, this is the end of my shift and I don't feel like more paperwork, so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven't heard before, you can go."

I thought for a second and said, "Last week my wife ran off with a cop and I was afraid you were trying to give her back!"

Then the Officer said "Lord Noel - Have a nice weekend!"

Tallyho!
Best Wishes - Lord Noel

Lord Noel on Musical People

Whatto! Peeps...

Okay! Calm down Bono.....It would help if you told us where you left it!

 Some Musical Artists can help us to learn so much about life...

Phil Collins was right all along...

....when he told us "you can't curry dove".

That is one meal I will NEVER forget.

But some Artists haven't stood the test of time!

Prince's 'Cream' is now well past it's sell-by-date...

...sounding more like cheese than the double whipped sensation it once was...

...and why should we take any notice of people like U2? 

....when they readily admit they still haven't found what they're looking for!

Tallyho!

Best Wishes - Lord Noel