Lord Noel Remembers Old Girlfriends

What ho! Pepys...

I could tell straigh away that Cynthia was someone who needed to unwind

I will always remember exactly the first time I saw Cynthia...

..she was one of my first girlfriends...

...and always so punctual.

I could set my watch by her.

We met when we were both into Speed Dating...

a system which I can say with complete certainty...

...offers a distict advantage to those who suffer...

...from Premature ejaculation.

I wanted to be with her so I could find out what made her tick...

...and it was during our first date that she confided in me... 

...that she desperately wanted a man with a big clock.

I was definitely her man!

Tallyho!

Best Wishes - Lord Noel