Lord Noel's Questions and Answers

Whatto! peeps.....

I hope you have all had a lovely Xmas....
...and managed to survive by using all of the various stimulants available to you.
You may have also had time to consider those many questions in life that have no answers.....
....and the few that have answers too!


Q How do crazy people get through the forest?
A. They take the psycho path.

Q. How do you make holy water?
A. Boil the hell out of it.

Q. What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
A. Polaroids.

Q. What do prisoners use to call each other?
A. Cell phones.

Q. What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?
A. A stick.

Q. What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
A. Nacho Cheese.

Q. What do you call Santa's helpers?
A. Subordinate Clauses.

Q. What do you call four bull fighters in quicksand?
A. Quatro sinko.

Q. What do you get from a pampered cow?
A. Spoiled milk.

Q. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A. Frostbite.

Q. What has four legs, is big, green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree would kill you?
A. A pool table.

Q. What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
A. Anyone can roast beef.

Q. Where do you find a dog with no legs?
A. Right where you left him.

Q. Why are there so many Smiths in the phone book?
A. They all have phones.

Q. Why do bagpipers walk when they play?
A. They're trying to get away from the noise.

Q. Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
A. Because they have big fingers.

Q. What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?
A. The taste.

Q. What do you get when you cross a pit bull with a collie?
A. A dog that runs for help ... after it bites your leg off.


Hope this helps!
Tallyho!
Best Wishes - Lord Noel