Lord Noel's Local News

What ho!

Those of you who are avid readers of our Parish magazine will no doubt be wondering where the November issue has got to.....
....well, wonder no more .....
Here's an extract from....
....our famous 'Problem Page' which I have been asked to Edit and run....
This letter came to me from a local Professional from the 'caring profession'......

Dear Lord Noel,

I had felt guilty all day long. No matter how much I tried to forget about it, I couldn't. The guilt and sense of shame was overwhelming. Every once in a while, though, I'd hear that soothing voice trying to reassure me - "Don't worry about it Bob. You're not the first doctor to sleep with one of your patients and you won't be the last. And you're single!....So just let it go."
Invariably though, the other voice would bring me back to reality ...

.... "But Bob, you're a Veterinarian!" 

Please help me.....Bob

Dear Bob......The English are well known as a nation of animal lovers but I think you may be taking things a little too far by bringing your work home with you......I believe you may have been provoked by a very attractive sheep or similar animal......God knows....when they look at you with those lovely big eyes......it's a difficult call.......but hey! Look on the bright side!.......At least she (I'm assuming it was a 'she'!?) won't be making any complaints against you......Your secret is safe! Bob Larkins.....

Tallyho!
Best Wishes - Lord Noel