Lord Noel Enjoys Fine Dining Efficiently

Whatto! Fine Diners......

Last week, Lady Jacqueline and myself took some friends to a brand new, and rather swish restaurant.
On our arrival I noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket.
That seemed a little strange.
When a second waiter brought our water and utensils, I observed that he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket. Then I looked around and saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets.
When the waiter came back to serve our first course I enquired, "My dear chap.....why the spoon?"

"Well Lord Noel," he explained, "the restaurant's owner hired a top Consulting Firm to revamp all of our processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil. Over each quarter it represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If all of our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 hours per shift!"

I was completely amazed! ....and as luck would have it, I dropped my spoon!
He replaced it immediately with his spare and said..."I'll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now."

As I ate my starter I told Lady Jacqueline how impressed I was with such efficient thought processes.
Then I noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter's fly.
Looking around, I saw that all of the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies!
So, I beckoned one across, and spoke to him surrepticiously, 'Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?' - moving my eyes to his fly.

'Oh, certainly Lord Noel!' he responded. Then he lowered his voice and bent forward to speak personally to me. 'Not everyone is so observant, but the consulting firm we used learned that we can save time in the restroom. By tying this string to the tip of our youknowwhat, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39%..
I spoke quietly, 'That's amazing! So after you get it out, how do you..... put it back?'
'Well,' he whispered, 'I don't know about the others....

....but I use the spoon.'


Tallyho!
Best Wishes - Lord Noel