Lord Noel On Total Commitment Versus Old Age

What ho! Parishoners....

It's that time of the month again!

Yes... when our Parish Magazine hits the streets featuring my (now quite famous) 'Advice Column'.

Here's another poor soul - crying out for my help:

"Dear Lord Noel, 

I was recently diagnosed with AAADD. – (Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder). This is how it manifests itself: I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide my car needs washing. As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mail box earlier. I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car. I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the rubbish bin under the table, and notice that the bin is full. So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the rubbish first. But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first. I take my chequebook off the table, and see that there is only one cheque left. My extra cheques are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of coke that I had been drinking. I'm going to look for my cheques, but first I need to push the coke aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over. I see that the coke is getting warm, and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold. As I head toward the kitchen with the coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye: they need to be watered. I place the coke down on the work surface, and I discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning. I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers. I set the glasses back down on the work top, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote. Someone has left it on the kitchen table. I realise that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be looking for the remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the lounge where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers. I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor. So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill. Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do. At the end of the day: * The car isn't washed * The bills aren't paid * There is a warm can of coke sitting on the work surface * The flowers don't have enough water * There is still only one cheque in my chequebook * I can't find the remote * I can't find my glasses and I don't remember what I did with the car keys. Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I'm really tired. I realise this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail. 

Regards Sir Nedley Futtok OMD, AC.DC and Bar

PS. I just remembered, I left the water running.... "

"Dear Sir Nedley, I have tried several times to read your letter without success! Best Wishes - Lord Noel"

Tallyho!

Best Wishes - Lord Noel