Lord Noel On Getting Put In A Tight Spot

What ho! Pepys.....

I was taking a leisurely walk through Town with Lady Jacqueline......

.....when a chap we both know came over to us.......

.....and posed us a rather random question.

He said "Lord Noel & Lady Jacqueline, I'm glad I bumped into you both....

.....I wonder if you can tell me.......

....... how many creatures can you fit into a pair of tights?"

"Well"....I began....

..."being someone who is not accustomed to trying to fit 'creatures' into tights.....

.....in fact I rather prefer any creature I know to be completely without tights!....

...(unless they were those thick black wooly ones that I'm rather partial to)....

....so, I must admit that your question has me a trifle flummoxed!"

Lady Jacqueline and myself continued to give the matter some thought for a little while.....

....then decided to let him tell us the answer......

"Pray tell us..." I implored "....how many creatures can you fit into a pair of tights?"

"Well Lord Noel & Lady Jacqueline" he said "... it's not as easy as it sounds....

....there are:

Ten little piggies

Two calves

One ass

Millions of hares

And, of course, a pussy!"

...Oh how we laughed!!

....Har! Har! Har!

...(Note to self: 'Must avoid walking through Town.')

Tallyho!

Best wishes - Lord Noel