Lord Noel Gets Pliéd With Alcohol

Whatto! Pepys....

I was in one of our delightful local pubs, enjoying a delicious pint of Nelson's Revenge.....

....from our local Woodfordes Brewery....

 Delicious!

Anyway....I went inside to order another drink.....

....when a rather nasty looking, sweaty woman, wearing a sleeveless sundress, walked into the bar.

She certainly wasn't a local......

....but we're quite used to seeing some strange sights from visiting tourists....

...so I stood there watching as she raises her right arm, revealing a big hairy armpit as she points to all the people sitting at the bar (including me) and asks - in a loud voice, "What man in here will buy a lady a drink?"

The whole bar goes dead silent, as most of the patrons try to ignore her.

At the end of the bar, Albert, a skinny little, but extremely pleasant drunk slams his hand on the bar and says, "Barman! I want to buy that ballerina a drink!"

The barman pours the drink and the woman chugs it down.

After she's completed the drink, she turns again to the patrons and points around at all of us, again revealing her hairy armpit......

.....and she says in a slightly more slurred voice, "What man.... in here.... will buy.... a lady.... a drink?"

Once again, Albert (the little drunk) slaps his hand down on the bar and says, "Barman! I'd like to buy the ballerina another drink!"

After serving the lady her second drink, the barman approaches Albert and says, "It's your business if you want to buy the lady a drink Albert, but why do you keep calling her a ballerina?"

Albert replies, "Sir! In my eyes, any woman who can lift her leg up that high has got to be a ballerina!"

Tallyho!

Best Wishes - Lord Noel