Lord Noel Thinks That's What You Say

What ho! Clever People....

Just for you.....I've collected together a selection of clever sayings from various sources....

"Never judge a book by its movie". - JW Eagan

"Laughing at our mistakes can lengthen our own life. Laughing at someone else's can shorten it." - Cullen Hightower

"A perpetual holiday is a good working definition of hell." - George Bernard Shaw (Obviously a clever IDIOT)

"If you haven't found something strange during the day, it hasn't been much of a day." - John A. Wheeler

"She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon". - Groucho Marx

"My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was". - Rodney Dangerfield

"Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives". - Sue Murphy

"Instead of giving Politicians keys to the City, it might be better just to change the locks". - Doug Larson

"I never know how much of what I say is true". - Bette Midler

"People often write me and ask how I keep my wood floors so clean when I live with a child and a dog, and my answer is that I use a technique called Suffering From a Mental Illness". - Heather Armstrong

"Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy." - Ernest Benn

"In archaeology you uncover the unknown. In diplomacy you cover the known." - Thomas Pickering

"Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done." - Andy Rooney

"The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder." - Alfred Hitchcock

 "It's the good girls who keep diaries; the bad girls never have the time." - Tallulah Bankhead

"Say what you will about the Ten Commandments, you must always come back to the pleasant fact that there are only ten of them." - HL Mencken

"Today you can go to a gas station and find the cash register open and the toilets locked. They must think toilet paper is worth more than money." - Joey Bishop

"The government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it." - Ronald Reagan

"There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you." - Will Rogers

 "I hate music, especially when it's played." - Jimmy Durante

"Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example." - Francois de La Rochefoucauld

"I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them." - Isaac Asimov

"There is only one difference between me and a madman. I am not mad." - Salvador Dali

"If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk?"

"The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side." - Hunter S. Thompson

Tallyho!
Best Wishes - Lord Noel