Lord Noel On Reaping The Benefits

Whatto! Pensioners.....

After retiring from The Foreign Office..........

.....I met up with a few old colleagues for a bit of a soiree......

.....and a chap who's now an MP advised me to go to the Social Security office in order to apply for a Benefit of some kind.......

"Well" I thought.......

..."If anyone knows anything about claiming expenses....

...it's got to be an MP!"

So I toddled orf down to my local Benefits office...

......where I was taken to a private office.....

....for 'processing'.

The woman behind the desk asked me several personal questions before asking for my driver's Licence "In order to verify my age".

I looked in my pockets and suddenly realised that I had left my wallet at home.

I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.

Then the woman blurted out, 'Unbutton your shirt'.

I thought I must have misheard her .....

....so I said "Excuse me?"

And she repeated herself.....

"Unbutton your Shirt!" she said...in a slightly louder voice.

Well.....being unsure of my exact legal position in such circumstances......

....and being alien to the whole concept of claiming from the State in this way......

.....I gingerly opened my shirt........

.....revealing a small tuft of my curly silver chest hair.

The lady then said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me'.....

.....I smiled in quiet satisfaction......

....feeling glad that I had worn my 'Senior chest wig' on this particular occasion.... 

....and without further ado she completely processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my Lady wife about my experience at the Social Security office.

She said, 'Well that certainly seems quite odd Dear.......

....but perhaps if you had dropped your trousers you might have qualified for disability benefit too.'

Blast! She doesn't miss a trick!

Tallyho!

Have you ever had to display some of your body hair in order to qualify for a monetary renumeration?

Best Wishes - Lord Noel & Lady Jacqueline

Dress With Finesse