Lord Noel Is Having Nun Of It

Whatto! Holiday makers.......

Yesterday I passed by one of our local churches.............
.....and it reminded me of the time I went on holiday in the early 1970's......
.....with some nuns.
They were all older than me............ and some were old enough to drive......

......so we headed orf in a sort of convoy..........
....to explore the world.
I don't know what I thought was going to happen...........
.....I was very young then...........and quite naive............ ....and I think I just liked the idea............

............ of being on holiday.........
.....with a load of females.

They were certainly great fun to be with.............

......and weren't afraid to enjoy themselves to the full.

They had so many activities arranged too!.....

.......fairground rides.......

....swimming.......

....even Art classes......

.....(which seemed to be particularly popular).......

.....you name it......

......they did it.........

......there wasn't a single moment to be bored.
We drove across Europe and then decided to head for Transylvania.
There were several good bars on the way.......
....that the ladies were happy to go into.......

....although they never sampled anything more than soft drinks.
I, on the other hand.......

.......being rather youthful.......
.....decided to let my hair down on my birthday.......
....and have a few drinks.
Two of the nuns......

....who shared a room next to mine.....
...(and who I must say .......
.....were extremely attractive).......
....asked me what I'd like......

........ for my Birthday.
I'd heard them giggling together at night.......
......and I suppose I was imagining...........

.......... all the fun they were having together........
....I don't really know what I was thinking.......

....but in my drunken stupor.....
....I suddenly blurted out........ "I wanna watch!"
I was rather surprised........

........ that they didn't seem at all phased by my request.........
In fact.........

......they both went away...........
.....for a few minutes ........
....and then.......

........ they both came up to me .............
....with a Rolex.

How lovely!

As we reached Transylvania.........

............. I began thinking of Dracula.......

..........he was a very real character for me in those days......
....I'd seen all his films.......

....so driving along those wild and desolate Transylvanian tracks at night.........
.....was very scary.

The nuns had already put garlic over the windscreen to 'protect' us.......
....so we were all absolutely terrified when a man in a dark cape...........
....leapt out of the bushes onto the front of the car!

The Nun driving had the presence of mind to start the windscreen wipers to try to dislodge this abominable 'creature'.........

.....but he tore away the garlic and snarled madly through the glass at us.......
"Use the windscreen washers!" I shouted.......
....(I'd seen them filling the washer bottles up with holy water before we left).

As the 'miracle' water sprayed upwards.........
.......the Creature's face contorted wildly.......
.....blistering and bubbling......

........... bursting where the sanctified liquid had struck it!
But he still wouldn't budge!

"For God's sake Sister! I shouted out in desperation.......
....."Show him your cross!"

RIGHT!" she yelled " ......I WILL!" 

 

And I watched in horror............."
as she wound down the drivers window of the car........
.....and shouted at Dracula...........

........"GET THE F**K OFF MY CAR YOU A55HOLE!"

Tallyho!
Best Wishes - Lord Noel