Lord Noel Undergoes Successful Self Analysis

Whatto! Everyone...... 

 

 I've recently been reading an extremely interesting book on 'self-analysis'........

I suppose that my choice of reading material has been mainly due to the fact that several people have chosen to write into me......

(not actually INTO me you understand)

.......to complain that I 'come over' as someone who is extremely superficial.......

....and much as I would love to accept this compliment I can honestly say that that's just on the surface....

As far as I'm concerned I have only one true retort to such individuals ..........

....and I say to them "Prejudiced people like you are all the same!".....

...."and for goodness sake!" (I often add)......

...."Don't Be An Oxymoron!"

Or sometimes (to save time) I just send them a short note saying "Death to all fanatics!"

At the end of the day......

.....and sometimes also in the morning.........

... believe there are really only four types of people in this World........

.....those who can count...........

...and those who can't.

Essentially if there's one thing I can't stand, it's intolerance!

That's the reason why I have spent my life dedicating myself and all my available spare time to trying to achieve a state of complete apathy......

.... but in the end .......

....who really cares?

I'll tell you who cares!.....

Nobody!

I've regularly tried to educate people (mainly through the medium of this blog)............

.....to understand a number of things..........

Firstly......... that Grammer has to be one of the most importantest things ever!

.....and that (for example) prepositions are not words that sentences should be ended with.

I have also always worked like a dog to ensure that I have avoided cliches like the plague.......

.....and yet I also strongly believe that one should never ever generalise!

I suppose I can sincerely say that my true identity lies completely in my not knowing who I really am.....

....but I think (in retrospect) that is largely due to advice I was given by my parents which I never took.....

They would say to me (as a young child)...........

...."Lord Noel! As you travel through life, always be on the lookout for the conspicuous!"

....and I would say to them......

..."Now say that to me as an adult"

But they wouldn't!......

...and for that reason..........

...I'm still not really sure that I fully understand ambiguity.

On the other hand.....I KNOW that there's no such thing as nonexistence........

.....but on the other hand I still have grave doubts about disbelief.

On the one hand I find that I am completely decisive.........

.......but on the other hand......I'm not.....

....and on the other hand I find myself wondering........

.....how many other people........

...have five hands?

I know one thing that reading this extensive tome has taught me.......

I have learnt that I was becoming increasingly worried....

..... that there wasn't enough anxiety in my life....

.....and that I was developing this nagging fear......

....that everyone was out to make me paranoid!

I kept telling myself that I was a pathological liar!....

....but I'm not sure I really believed it.

I suppose, in conclusion, and summing up, that I've ultimately realised, in the end, that it's far, far too easy to make yourself redundant and superfluous by using copious amounts of words than are more than really, strictly necessary or even required .......

....especially when one is trying to say or explicate something that one has already, once before, told people, in a manner they could have easily and simply understand or comprehended the first time.......

....and thus avoid any confusion whatsoever even.

But above all this.........I firmly believe that if I do not co-operate with myself.............

....I cannot work together.....

....and I run the risk of becoming like a bird who is unable to draw in breath......

........ I just cannot succeed.

But I also find that analogies in writing are really just like fur on a fish.
So there's absolutely no point in my exaggerating my situation.......
.....that would be a billion times worse than understatement......
I know that my journey of life will continue............
....and there will be times when it will be hard......
(but that's really too personal to go into here)
.....and there will be times when the road will be difficult to find..........(and I shall naturally refuse to ask for directions).......
....and when all the free advice in the World..........
....... is worth exactly what you paid for it.
But I know where I'm heading out from.....
....and I know where I want to end up.....
.....and I will always remember that the shortest distance between two points..... 

.....is exactly how far apart they are...


Tallyho!
Best Wishes - Lord Noel