Lord Noel On How Being A Parent Changes Your Life

Whatto! Parents.......

When a baby is born it soon affects every member of that family...................

However, as you have baby 2 then baby 3, then they say that the way in which you deal with the child also changes considerably............... I wonder if it's really true?



1st baby:

You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your pregnancy is confirmed.

You practice your breathing as often as possible

At the first sign of upset, the slightest cry you pick up the baby for a cuddle.

If the dummy falls on the floor you put it away until you can go home and disinfect it properly.

You wash the clothes before organising them into colour coordinated folded piles neatly laid out in the baby’s specially bought chest of drawers.

You change your baby's nappy every hour whether they need it or not.

You take your child to the Clinic, the Gym, the swimming pool and the Library for story time

The first time you leave your baby with a sitter you call home 4 times.

You spend a great deal of time every day just gazing lovingly at your baby.



2nd baby:

You wear your ordinary clothes for as long as you are able

You don't bother practicing your breathing because you remember that last time, breathing didn't help at all.

You pick the baby up when her cries threaten to wake your neighbours.

When the dummy falls on the floor you squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle.

You make sure that the clothes are clean and throw away only the ones with the dirtiest marks on them.

You change their nappy every 2 to 3 hours, if required.

You take your youngster to the Clinic.

Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave your babysitter a number where you can be reached.

You spend some of everyday keeping an eye open to ensure that your eldest child isn't squeezing, poking or hurting the baby.



3rd baby:

Your maternity clothes ARE your ordinary clothes.

You accept an epidural injection as soon as it is offered.

You teach your 2 year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.

You wipe the dummy it off on your sleeve and pop it back in.

You are heard to say that boys can wear pink, no problem.

You only change their nappy when others start complaining about the smell or you see it hanging down very low.

You take your child to The Supermarket.

You leave instructions for the babysitter to call ONLY if she sees blood.

You spend some of every day hiding from the children.



Tallyho!

Best Wishes - Lord Noel & Lady Jacqueline