Lord Noel Teaches English For Beginners

What ho! Foreign types......

We am a stickler for correct English wherever possible..........

....and so we always encourage others to take the same care when they are using it.

For example, there are a number of simple mistakes one can easily make.........

....unless one has been told.

So todays blog is a short lesson in English for anyone wishing to visit our fine country.....

....who may not have English as their first language......

....hopefully it may help to clarify alot of important facts for you.


'English muffins' were not invented in England

Inside a hamburger you won't find any ham.

A guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

Remember that writers 'write' but fingers don't 'fing'

What we refer to as 'Quicksand' only works very, very slowly
 
If you sink in a boat you can be said to have 'sunk'........ but if you think in a boat - you cannot be said to have 'thunk'


There is neither apple nor any pine in a pineapple.
 
If you visit the shop named 'Boots'....don't expect to be able to buy boots.

There is absolutely no egg in an eggplant

Singers 'sing' but Grocers don't 'groce' in the same way that hammers don't 'ham'......that's what Actors do.

Chips called 'French fries' are not from France

You cannot buy threshers in Threshers.

The plural of tooth is 'teeth', but if you see more than one booth please do not call them 'beeth'

A ladybird is neither a lady ....or a bird

If you spend time with a teacher you have probably been 'taught'

......but if you've spent time with a preacher you definately haven't been 'praught'

A vegetarian eats vegetables, but a humanitarian can eat whatever they like.

A twit is a pregnant goldfish
 



Earwigs should not be placed on the ears....... who'd want wigs on their ears anyway?




And please don't even go to 'Virgin Megastore'.......it's a big disappointment!

Tallyho!

Best wishes - Lord Noel & Lady Jacqueline

Dress With Finesse