Lord Noel's Small Ads

What ho! Advertisers.........

I was at the Post Office the other day and I noticed how many postcards were in the window.......
.....all offering something for sale ........
......or a service that can be provided locally............


Toaster: Automatically burns toast

Holiday Special: While you're away have your home exterminated.

A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms. Dinner Special -- Turkey £4.35; Chicken or Beef £4.25; Children £3.00.

Four-poster bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover.

Now is your chance to have your ears pierced. Get an extra pair to take home.

Wanted: girls for stripping machine operators in factory.

Wanted: Unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and produce at night.

We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.

Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.

For Sale. Three canaries of undermined sex.

Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family.

For Sale -- Eight puppies from a German Shepherd and an Alaskan Hussy.

Great Dames for sale.

Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition.

For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.

Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.

Get rid of aunts: Zap does the job in 24 hours.

Mt. Kilimanjaro, the breathtaking backdrop for the Serena Lodge. Swim in the lovely pool while you drink it all in.

Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable that lots of women wear nothing else.
Tallyho!
Best Wishes - Lord Noel