What ho! Health & Safety executive types.........
After recently eating a bag of peanuts which had the warning "May contain nuts" on the label I began to think of some more utterly pointless warnings that could easily be instigated ............
......thereby guaranteeing you all continued employment
On Odour Eaters: "Not to be taken orally".
On a food blender: "Warning: Do not utilise as an emergency aquarium".
On stockings: "Guarantee is void if used in the commission of a felony".
On gloves: "For best results, do not leave at the scene of a crime".
On a fridge: "Keep cool after opening".
On alphabet blocks: "Not to be used by children. Letters may be used to construct words, phrases and sentences that could be deemed offensive".
On a cardboard windscreen sun-shade: "Warning: Do Not Drive With Sun Screen in Place".
On an infant's bathtub: "Warning: Do not throw baby out with bath water".
On a cup of McDonald's coffee: "Allow contents to cool before applying to groin area".
On a microscope: "Warning: Objects may appear bigger and more frightening than they really are".
On a calendar: "The use of term 'Sunday' is for reference only. No meteorological warranties are expressed or implied".
Tallyho!
Best Wishes - Lord Noel
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