Lord Noel's Chat On A Tube

Whatto! Catholics..................

I recently found myself on a tube train after having attended a wonderful private party in the 'big city'.....


I saw one last available seat and flopped down into it.............next to a Catholic priest..............
I'd be the first one to admit that I probably looked the worse for wear...............
My tie was stained..............
my face was smeared with red lipstick..............
.......and a half-empty bottle of brandy was sticking out of my coat pocket..........
All in all............... I'd had a bally good time!
Regardless of this............... I opened a newspaper and began reading............
After a few minutes reading I turned to the priest and asked him............
"Father"....... with great respect............"What causes arthritis?".............
He immediately seemed beligerent towards me.............
............ and answered "Loose living! Cheap Wicked Woman! Too much alcohol!.....and contempt for your fellow man!"
I was surprised by his response and replied to him through my drunken stupour by murmering "Well! Well! Would you believe it?"........
....... and then returned to my newspaper..............
The priest seemed to have second thoughts about what he said to me...............
and he nudged me gently and apologised.................saying.........
" I'm very sorry my son...........I didn't mean to be so harsh to you......
.... How long have you had arthritis?"...............
I was pleased with his change of attitude and warmed to him saying "Oh, I don't have it Father..............


.......but it says here that the Pope does"

Tallyho!
Best Wishes - Lord Noel