Whattttto! .........and welcome to the FINAL part of this occasional seies on Advertising. Here are some actual label instructions that appeared on some consumer goods together with more honest billboards:
On Sears hair dryer:Do not use while sleeping.
On Sears hair dryer:Do not use while sleeping.
On a bag of Fritos:You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
On a bar of Dial soap:Directions: Use like regular soap.
On some Swanson frozen dinners:Serving suggestions: Defrost.
Printed on the bottom of Tesco Tiramisu dessert:Do not turn upside down.
On Marks and Spencer Bread Pudding:Product will be hot after heating.
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:Do not iron clothes on body.
On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine:Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.
On Nytol Sleep Aid:Warning: May cause drowsiness.
On most brands of Christmas lights:For indoor or outdoor use only.
On a Japanese food processor:Not to be used for the other use.
On Sainsbury's peanuts:Warning: Contains nuts.
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
On a child's Superman costume:Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
On a Swedish chain saw:Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.
On a toboggan:Beware: Sledge may develop high speed under certain snow conditions.
On a knife sharpener:Caution: knives are sharp.
On shin pads for cyclists:Shin guards cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover.
On a take away coffee cup:Caution: Hot beverages are hot.
Emergency safety procedures at a US summer camp:In case of flood, proceed uphill. In case of flash flood proceed uphill quickly.
Well........ I think that's done Advertising for now.........
Tallyho!
Best wishes - Lord Noel
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