Whatto! Everyone in consumerland!!.......
I'd like to warn you about a little-known product called "Unicorn Pink Spaghetti"............
A seemingly innocuous product I hear you say..............
....with a cute little Unicorn on the front of the packet..................
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!!.................
And when the packet is open to reveal the contents..........................
you can immediately tell......................
......this is no ordinary spaghetti!!...........
But then again...................... that's exactly why I bought it in the first place.............
I wanted something a 'little different' ..........
For my special guests from Lithuania...............
But (I fear).....................
...............this is one meal they will NOT forget in a hurry!!
I served the spaghetti - as normal - on a large flat plate...........................
then I looked at one of my guests.................
and wondered if he had some kind of eating disorder!!
Then I looked at his wife..........................
........and wondered the same thing!.............
it was then!...................
That it HIT me!!......................
Apparently this particular variety of spaghetti.............
become VERY volitile when mixed with Bolognese sauce!!...........
Thwack!!...............
............as more exploded off the plate........................
Then THUD!!........................
as my guests hair became entangled still more!!................
SPLOSH!!.......................
And the final eruption hit me a sidelong glance as it headed for the door!!
Needless to say I was an extremely dissatisfied customer...............
and I wrote to the Customer Relations department (In China) ................
asking them what they proposed to do ....................
to rectify this dreadful situation..............
To their credit they acted swiftly...........
and within three weeks I had a reply to my letter.........
Offering my compensation in the form of.................
a years supply of Pink Spaghetti!!!
So............If you get invited round to the Manor - guess what's on the MENU!!
Tallyho!
best wishes - Lord Noel
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