Lord Noel Shouts "Hair Hair!"

Once again "Whato!" my virtual friends!!

I have tried many strange and peculiar things in my time.................

But I was Extremely lucky to be invited to a Birthday Celebration of the INFAMOUS 'Latin American Hairsuite Club'!

This club allows CONSENTING LIKE-MINDED adults to INDULGE in their Commonly shared FETISH...........

.........of dressing as LATINOs................

...................with the added EXTRA....................

....................of "FABRICATED HAIRPIECES"!!

A lavish meal was laid on for all those attending.......................

.....consisting of freshly roasted chickens with SALAD.......................

...........and beautifully boiled new potatoes.......................

..........with copious amounts of wine and spirits to follow!!!

Then there was a certain amount of anticipation as the guests excitedly prepared to indulge themselves.......

...............in their FETISH...................

......for 'Fabricated Hairpieces'!!!!

The location of the meeting was kept secret until the last minute!..................

........as many of those assembled have high powered jobs...............

.........such as 'Search Engine Optimiser'......................

.......and there have even been SURPRISE attendances from ROYALTY...............

.....they are the ones usually refered to as "Your Royal Hairness"............

.........so every effort has been made to protect their identities HERE...........

Here is a lady who loves the feel of 'Fabricated Hair' against her chin and cheeks.............

.................relaxing with a cigarette..........................

Here two of the guests come to terms with the rich textures so lovingly placed beneath their noses............

................aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

..............oooooooooooooooooooooooooh!

For some.................... MORE ..............is BETTER!!..................

You can see that this GENTLEMAN certainly couldn't seem to GET ENOUGH!!.............

While for others - a simple MOUSTACHE was all that was required to achieve ecstatic results......................

..................I SAY!!!! BALLY ATTRACTIVE INDEED!!!

Many hours were spend SAVOURING the sweet AROMA of each of the LOVINGLY CRAFTED 'Fabricated Hairpieces'..................

.........mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!!!!

Wherever they ENDED UP!.................

I do HOPE I'm invited to another REUNION soon!!

Tallyho Everyone!!

Best Wishes - Lord & Lady Hairy

Lord Noel on Solstice Mote It Be

Tallyho! Peeps......By Jove & a Happy Solstice to you all!!!!


Hello AGAIN!!!


"So soon?" I hear you cry! "Why yes!" I respond (in a slightly concerned manner).........


"Well - what might the matter be?" You state - in an askingly type of way!


(That 'Creative Writing' course is really paying off now............)



"It's THE SOLSTICE!!" I gesticulate ............emphatically!


Yes ........................My Dear ..........................Dear Friends.................... once again the Sun has woven his magic with mother Earth and spun to their most intimate position together..........................


..........and Spirtuality gathers common folk together to celebrate their encounter............



I meant to use my camera but I did not!..............




But this needn't mean you can't transport yourself right there - right now................if you wish to!




Just close your eyes................ for so much of the evening is through half-open eyes.............




.........as we smilingly awaken from our hypnotic slumbers...............





.......cast adrift on the wonderful ocean that is........................





.......C................H...............A....................N...................T.......................!!!!!!








Here - for instance - is the memory of the arriving guests who each brought some love and friendship to the gathering..............

Hands out-stretched in welcome and memory..........................
.......of the many similar times we spent together over the years......................




Here - the smiling faces gathered round the blazing 'fire-pit' in rugged determination........


"We SHALL continue to CHANT!" - "whatever the weather throws at us!"............... lol


........and the talk and frivolities shared over food and drink........................


And here ......................... the best memory of all............................
The music we made with care and perfect love..........................
Isn't that just like .........................being there?.....................
Happy Solstice EVERYONE!!
Best wishes - Lord Noel

Lord Noel Enjoys A Day At The Beach..........

Whatto! ..............and a glorious "Hello" to everyone in Cyberland!!

Summer is a time when the mind turns to many things...............

.....and with the longest day of the year finally here.............

............I decided it was time to head..............

..........................for the BEACH!!



......accompanied (as ever) by my loyal & faithful manservant - Tennyson...........


......................who I needed on this particular outing............


..............to carry all my beach accoutrement's!!


.............of which there are many!!!!...........



Sometimes I find the English coast quite beautiful...................


.........and if you squint your eyes tightly.................


..............you can almost imagine you were somewhere more exotic..................


................like Bournemouth...........



Here is a picture of Tennyson finally reaching the beach with all my equipment.............


..............and do you know?


............. he actually had the nerve to ask me for a drink to quench his thirst!!!

In his own best interests I naturally refused, and told him to 'Toughen up!'

................... and get on with assembling my 'Man kite'!!!.....



Now.............The idea of the 'Man Kite' is that it should remain airborne so that one can attach oneself to it and allow it to drag one across the surface of the water on one's surfing board ...................
Here is a picture of the kite in the air.......................


.......it is a rare and unusual photograph................
because unfortunately - it did not remain there for long..................
................and soon became ................

......something resembling - a not inexpensive windbreak......
.....I left Tennyson to sort the matter out....
....and headed orf to enjoy the sea.....
(another aspect of 'Mother Nature' that I like to become 'at one' with from time to time)


Here I am frolicking by the waters edge............................



So..Dear Readers!!!......
....Get yourselves down to the beach this SUMMER!!
(.. the nights are already drawing in!!!)
Best Wishes and Tallyho!!
Lord Noel

Lord Noel At One With Nature!

Whatto!! .................and greetings once again my dear virtual friends!!

You will know by now of my love of Nature and all things 'Natural'..............

Well today I managed to persuade The Lovely Lady Jacqueline to join me in our latest endeavour!!...............

Being .................AT ONE ..........WITH A HORSE!!!!

I must admit - she did seem a trifle NERVOUS beforehand................

Perhaps that was due to the fact that the last time she was on a horse she was 11 years old (yes believe it or not - only ten years ago!) ................

......and she partially fell orf!!

......then was dragged around a concrete yard by one leg................ which was still stuck in the sirrup!! ................

.....but then again ......it was a GERMAN riding school - so perhaps they do things a little differently out there ...........what?!

Today she was led out to her fine filly................

.......which she later claimed was the size of a small house..................

....luckily I have this photo which suggests otherwise!! ........(You can see a small house in the background to compare sizes)

We were then led orf to an indoor arena where we encouraged to ride around in circles......

Very soon the horses were stating to relax......................

...........in fact mine relaxed a little too much................

.......and provided us with another obstacle to manoevour round!

We learnt to trot and steer the beasts across the arena and .................... most importantly.......
............STOP!!

........and we did ALL THAT without falling orf Once!!!

.......I think all that dung on the floor was the encouragement we needed to stay on the horse at all costs!!




Lady Jacqueline certainly did look a picture afterwards...............
....and rather fetching in her riding hat I must say!! Har har!! Wallop!!
........SOMEHOW..................Mine did not have quite the same effect..................


Tallyho!!!!!!............... EVERYONE!!!

Best wishes - Lord Noel & Lady Jacqueline

Lord Noel Protests!

Whatto!!!!

....... and how the Devil are you all this extremely fine day??

If you're anything like me.........................

....you'll be feeling totally 'Top Hole'! What?! Har!

But it COULD have been all so different............................

........if strong, healthy and attractive people like myself..............

HADN'T taken the time and trouble to PROTECT

...................what we all love and TREASURE!!

YES!!..........

DEMONSTRATING!!.......... their passion

....................for a worthwhile CAUSE!!

By PROTESTING!! ...................

NAKED!!!!!!!!!!!

These fine people are demonstrating together................

......about the inadequacies of the common SCARF as a clothing item!!

These MEXICANS are demonstrating

....................about the UGLINESS of their president!!!!

One of them said "We down lake 'im!! 'ee as dee 'ead of a DEEK!"

These men are DEMONSTRATING about the current price of a Beatles ABBEY ROAD album!!

........and these BRAVE women are against the use of................

.........BAKED BEANS in school dinners!!!



Here... young men DEMONSTRATE about the lack of.......................

....suitable SEATING on minor roads!!! (Not much to ask for IS IT!!!???)

The signs say - "SEATING ON THIS ROAD IS COMPLETE BOLLIX!"



....and this man has his own MESSAGE to get across!!

SO!!.................. In the true spirit of Brotherhood and loveliness.................

.....I decided to make my own PROTEST!!...........

....about the HIGH COST OF CAKE!!

I value your SUPPORT!!! (and I shall always wear it - when I'm NOT Demonstrating!!)

Best wishes - Lord Noel xxx

Lord Noel's Chromozomes

Well "Whatto!!" once again my dear virtual friends................!

I saw a fascinating scientific programme the other day

......................which really got me thinking............

Apparently our chromozomes are such that we very closely resemble that of ..........

................wait for it..........................

FISH!!!!

This revelation was such a shock to me.......................
I had to go for a soak in the jacuzzi.................

........but it certainly helped to explain a few things in my life...............................

.........for example - there's nothing I love better on a hot day than lying down and basking in shallow waters.......................

(Here I am with my dorsal fin extended......................)


........and of course .................there's my Uncle Snapper .......................




..he's the life and sole of any party....................


............and I don't know of anyone else's uncle who is quite like him..............

Here he is - laughing his bally head off over one of his jokes..................

And me and my cousin are finding it quite a hoot too!................... (OH COD!! - Don't we look out of Plaice!!!?)

Here I am play fighting with my Grandfather - he's still in very good shape and able to put up a strong fight as well....

..............he loves wrestling ....

........apparently he got hooked on it as a tiddler!!!..............

And here I am with two of my mates!!!...

....as you can see ... they're a right couple of handfulls....

......we were off to the nearest Port actually....

.....for a load of liquid refreshment!!

  ....and it wasn't long before a couple of rather attractive females came over and started flirting outrageously with us!!

Har Har!!! I didn't know where to look!!!!!............

So to be honest........................ there are many good things about being closely related to fish...........

................and of course............

............it could've been much, much worse!......................

.........take my friend Max for example............................!!!

(By the way................He thinks he looks a bit ruff in this shot!!)

Whatto everyone!


.....and Tallyho!!!!


Best wishes - Lord Noel

Lord Noel Experiences Ghosts and Ghoolies!!

Welcome once again dear reader to my sporadic and periodic ramblings.

Tonights has a somewhat sombre tone attached to it.....................

For I recently learnt of a nearby Hamlet (No NOT the cigar!).................

which is definately frequented by Ghoolish spirits!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I was told that this devilish experience could only be experienced on a certain night...............
............at a certain time............................
when the nearby churchbells would strike out.........................
to drive the hellish demons from this place (NO! NOT the fish!)


Not to be undone by a challenge......................


I headed for the said hostelry with a few guarded colleagues....................


.........and had a few Beers for DUTCH COURAGE!!


On first inspection everything seemed right enough.....................

(Except the REINDEER badly needed feeding!)

But it was then that I noticed......................that the clock was stuck at 7.43pm!!!!

......................the EXACT TIME WHEN the HORRIBLE DEED TOOK PLAICE!!!! (YES! THE FISH!!!)

Then suddenly! ..........on a nearby wall................


I spotted it ........................an INVISIBLE HORSE!!!
I let out a yell to warn my associates!!.............


.....then turned suddenly to stand FACE TO FACE............


...........with an INVISIBLE MAN!!!



It was obvious to me then that my companions couldn't see him...................

.......and whilst they assured me in calming tones that there was nothing to fear................

.....I could feel the evil energies rising around me................


........perhaps I possess an Inner gift?............

......... I'm not sure................


........but I do remember a girlfriend long ago saying that she thought I was a bit of a Psycho!




Anyway...................I had yet more of the local tipple......................


Unfortunately they'd completely run out of champagne......................


..........and the only Brandy they had was less than fifteen years old!!!

..........Can you imagine how frightful that was for me dear reader???!!!

..........STUCK in a haunted public house

.....................with nothing to defend myself with but REAL ALE!!


Suddenly somebody in the group let out a shout!!!!....................

.......and we all truned round to cacth sgiht of this ABOMINATION!!


...................glidddddding psssst on it's Satanic feet!!


I cna tell u dreary reeder .....................

...........thta lokal breer woz the onli thingk

.............................keepign my heatr and soooul toeghter!!


I hhhhhhhhhhhaaaaad a likkkkkkkkkkel drrrrop morrrrrrrrre.............


................THEN!!!..................


Weeeee allll haaad to addddjournnnn to-oo toooo theee craparkkkk........;;;;;;


.>>>>>>. toooooooo ........


........a neeeeeeeeeeerbyy treeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!




..........aaaand thhhe frresssssssh aaiiiir didddd uzzz allllll a powerrrrr offff gooood........

...........THEN!!!

Then ..................deeer reederz......................


......................yuuuuur intepid Lordddd


..................spyyed theeeee dreaaaaadfulllllll .........dreaaaaadfullllllllllllllll................


....................creeeeeeeture onceeee aggggainnnn......


.....ooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh yyyyyyyyyyyezzzzzzzzzzzz............


,,,,,,,,,,,sooooooooo orrrrrrrrrrrrrf IIIIi wennnttt.........................


////////// kamraaaaaaaaaa in hannnnnnnnnnnnnddddd.................


.......[[[]]]'''''''''' to katsh a blarstttttted fooooto offfffffff thtissssssss..............


..........AAAAAAAAANNIMAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLL!!!!.........


............ONNCE ANDDDDD


.*********4 BBBBBBAAAALLLLY AAAAAAAAAlllllllll!!!!!!!!!





BBbbbuttttt ----------asssssssss u kannnnnnnn seeeeeeeeee ffffroommm................


.....deeee abooooffffff ppikkktuuure.............


......4 Onccceeeeeeee!!.......... yesssssssss 4 wwwonnnsssssssssseeeeeeeee


.................I wozzzzzzzzzz ronggggggggggg!!


....OONnnnncee deeeeeee yunnnng ladddddiiiii


..................................haddddd stopppppppppped screeeemingk........


.......sheeeeeeeeee wassssss verrrrry undersstttttttttttaaaaaaaannnnding...............


Whichhhhhhh izzzzzzzzz juuurts assss welllllllll reeeeeeeeeeelly....................


..........assssssssssss Immmmmmmmm norrmalllly soooooooooo reezzzerfd!!

TTTAAAAAAAAAALLLLLYYY HoHHHOOOOOO


LUD NOL>>>>>>>>>kizkizkizzzzzzzzzzxxxxxxxxx